…In The Transition Of Peri Menopause.
Transition: I’ve always been fascinated by this word.
I first thought about this word in relation to labour. I remember learning about the ‘transition’ phase of labour, and then during the birth of my first child I experienced this for myself:
Suddenly everything felt different, I felt I became more aware, and it was almost like I was looking on from the outside, and time almost stood still for a moment… but then an overwhelming fear crept in, and suddenly, despite having had a natural and straightforward labour, I felt I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt a resistance within me and it all felt really scary.
But the midwife recognised that this was the ‘transition’ phase so she knew that this meant that I was nearly there.
She didn’t say anything but I remember seeing a knowing look in her eyes. Somehow this helped me to find my strength and then suddenly I gave birth and became a mum.
Looking back I realise that this moment of fear, was that moment when I was suddenly on the edge of a massive shift, from maiden to mother, moving into a territory completely unknown to me and in transition between the known and the unknown. something both completely terrifying yet magical and amazing at the same time.
When I gave birth to my second child, I was able to recognise this feeling, and so see it differently. While any transition can be scary, I find that recognising what the fear is, being able to see it as resistance to change, recognising the significance of the change and giving the moment the respect it deserves, and learning to surrender to it makes it somehow easier to move through.
I now recognise this a lot in many moments in my life too, when moving into or giving birth to something new, or when I myself am letting go of a version of myself and moving onto who I am becoming…that time just before, the time of transition.
It’s like a space between two things, just when things are about to change.
It can feel unsettling as you know you have to let go before moving onto what’s next.
We are having to grieve what we are leaving behind and have faith in what we are moving forward into, without really knowing what this is yet, and this is scary! Our ego just wants to keep us safe, and the unknown can feel dangerous, simply because it is unknown, so it is normal to feel resistance and fear in these times of transition.
But there can also be something beautiful about this time, the space between, where time almost stands still, it is to me like a sacred space.
I also feel very honoured to have been able to witness and support people through this stage at the end of their lives, and I feel that seeing people being able to surrender to this transition has truly inspired me, as well as changing the way that I feel about life and death. But we go through many births, deaths and transitions over the course of our lives which if we recognise I think can be really powerful.
Perhaps learning to recognise these times of transition and being more open about them can not only help us to embrace change and open up to our true potential, but maybe even support us in preparing for how we approach our final transition.
And peri menopause is one of these times.
I can feel within it the magic, the sacredness, and the feeling of time standing still, but also the fear of having to let go and move into the unknown. And it feels like we need to be with all of this, to slow down so that we can recognise the time as sacred, but also to sit with the fear and accept that as part of it too.
I have worked with lots of women over the past few years for support at peri menopause. Despite having learnt so much about ways to physically support our bodies and hormone balance (which I know is important too!) I have felt that what most women have felt they needed was to have this space, to be held and supported away from roles and responsibilities and expectations, to be able to go deep and to surrender to this transformation within themselves.
It also feels very special to have been there with these women and to have witnessed them surrendering to the process, working on fear, grief, and all of the emotions that come up, as well as facing all that needed to be let go of before moving into the next phase of life. It has been really inspirational, especially to see the transformation that they have gone through as a result.
I guess life can be a series of transitions, and we can choose to work with these, move through the fear and resistance, constantly being reborn into the next versions of ourselves if we chose to see it like this. We can also chose to stay stuck, to numb the fear and ignore it, but I feel we will miss out on so much.
These big transitions like birth, rites of passage and ultimately death I think can be seen as magical and sacred times where we can learn about the cyclical nature of our lives and practice surrendering to the fluidity of everything, letting go and feeling that primal life force that is ultimately underneath it all guiding us through if we will allow it. And the more we practice surrendering to it, the less scary it becomes, and the more we allow our own expansion, to realise that we are part of everything and forever changing, and to really allow the magic in.
We also have a retreat in October at St Nectans Glen that is all about makings space at this time.
Main – Photo by Yousef Espanioly on Unsplash
