…Will Change You
3 things I learned in my latest Somatic Experiencing training module
Last week I returned from sunny Barcelona, where I attended Intermediate Module 1 of the Somatic Experiencing® (SE) training.
The full 6 days of training include teachings on neuroscience, nervous system functioning, physiological responses to stress, and practical methods and practices that support the return to regulation and increasing resilience.
Applying the teachings in small group practice sessions was my favorite part of the week.
Coaching with an integrative, somatic approach means considering both the body and the mind.
More concretely, the topic a client brings to a session is explored not only on a cognitive level, through thoughts and reflection, but also through inner imagery, bodily sensations, emotions, or movement.
The body is the gateway to the authentic self. When we listen deeply to our bodily sensations, we begin to uncover who we truly are.
~Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger
Past experiences, especially the particularly impactful ones, can leave imprints on the body. These imprints may create a vortex-like effect, emerging in the present moment through shifts in breath, tone of voice, bodily sensations, or impulses.
While exploring a topic seemingly unrelated to an impactful event from the past, the nervous system can suddenly become triggered (or activated), and when the activation levels are high, the person might experience feeling confusion or overwhelm.
Understanding the process behind the activation during these moments is key to supporting someone in returning to a more resourced and regulated state.
A major focus of the first year of SE training was building the capacity to recognise early signs of nervous system activation in myself and in others, to self-regulate, and support another person’s process of release and restoration.
Self-regulation impacts not only myself.
A regulated nervous system can model regulation for another person’s nervous system.
This dynamic is involuntary, yet I can increase the chances of this happening by tuning into my own self-regulation.
You might have noticed how being around a calm, grounded person leaves you feeling more settled. Or the opposite, how time spent with someone in an anxious state can leave you feeling tired, or unsettled.
Here’s what the past week has taught me:
1. Being grateful increases short-term well-being & expands my capacity to hold complexity.
We experience reality through our perception of what is happening—a complex neural process influenced by unconscious mechanisms, shaped by factors among which: past experiences, societal norms, upbringing.
Throughout my 20s, I lived in Milan, Italy. While working part-time in a shop during my studies, I remember being surprised when tourists wore shorts in winter.
The objective reality was that it was a sunny winter day in northern Italy. Yet my perception of how warm the day felt differed from that of someone visiting from northern Europe.
Throughout our week of SE training, we began each morning by sharing a recent moment we felt grateful for.
People spoke about connecting with a sense of appreciation for simple things they hadn’t actively been paying attention to anymore. Sharing part of the morning routine with their partner, or being able to find a nearby parking spot–felt like a small gift to be thankful for.
This daily invitation to share what we are grateful for created a space of resonance and connection with each other’s experience. It opened up space to move through the day’s training with more presence.
“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention.”
~Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
Regular gratitude practice has been shown to influence brain regions involved in emotion and perception, supporting a shift in focus toward what’s going well. (The Upward Spiral, Dr. Alex Korb).
Through cultivating gratitude over time, I can gradually influence the way my brain processes experiences, shifting my focus from what I lack toward appreciating the wonders around me.
When exploring a topic in coaching session and gratitude arises spontaneusly, it can signal a meaninful shift. The underlying situation hasn’t changed, yet the client’s awareness has broaden.
It is a nourishing moment to be given space to—supporting the nervous system of the client to fully integrate the shift.
Pop-up gratitude practice
- Wherever you find yourself, take a moment to ask:
What is something I am grateful for? - Notice the first thing that comes to mind. Then, repeat to yourself:
I am grateful for… - Say it a few times and allow space for the experience to settle.
What do you notice?
2. Opposite experiences can coexist, & when brought into awareness—I can shift toward a more integrated experience.
Think of an experience you’re dreading in some way, perhaps a specific meeting or an event you are to attend.
Notice how the thought of that experience shows up in your body—are you aware of a particular sensation? Perhaps a shift in your posture or tension.
Simply observe what’s happening.
Next, take a moment to see if there’s a part of your body that feels the opposite, even the tiniest place.
Where can you sense that?
Take your time to observe if you’re exploring this inquiry for yourself.
This principle, also referred to as polarity, supports me in trusting that for any sensation or experience I’m aware of, an opposite can also exist.
Being aware of both, the sensation related to dread, and the presence of its opposite, can begin to widen my perspective.
The purpose isn’t to override or diminish the original experience, but to broaden the field of awareness—allowing space for a more integrated reality where both are present.
Like Yin and Yang.
Identifying an opposite experience is highly personal.
Inviting a client to explore what feels like the opposite of their current experience can offer a grounding anchor. Connecting to a more resourced place of balance, creates generative conditions for insight.
3. Practicing awareness of my body’s sensations enhances access to more resonant decision-making.
Many of us might feel a lightness in the chest when gazing over a majestic landscape, or notice our heart racing before speaking in front of a large audience.
This ability to sense what’s happening inside the body—also known as interoception— develops or fades over time, depending on whether we habitually pay attention to our inner experience, or tend to ignore it.
In my 10+ years working in tech, in software engineering related roles, paying attention to the body wasn’t particularly required.
After turning to practices like yoga, long-distance running, and especially mindfulness of the body meditation, I began noticing sensations I previously had no access to.
Considering the multitude of complex processes taking place in the body, it’s easy to realise there’s possibly more to sense and be aware of than the pull of gravity or the touch of clothing on your skin.
Fine tuning interoception over time can allow distinguishing between sensations that are on a neutral scale, and those that signal a need—whether it’s for rest, hydration, or moving the body.
By considering bodily sensation into my overall awareness, I can gradually develop a deeper capacity to recognize what feels right for me— & what doesn’t.
Inner cues can also guide preference—recognising how close or distant feels comfortable to be in relationships within someone else’s physical space.
What practices or habits help you strengthen your own mind & body awareness?
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
