Welcome, to Health & Wellbeing Magazine’s Spirit Keeper monthly column.  This is the place where you will discover tips and practices for creating, developing and maintaining a personalised self-care practice. 

If you are new to this month’s Spirit Keeper column, I recommend reading past articles to find out what a spirit keeper is and subjects already covered around self-care practices.

The seasons are polar opposites depending on whether you are in the northern or southern hemisphere.  May in the northern hemisphere is late spring.  May in the southern hemisphere is late autumn.  Depending on whether you are east or west Mother Earth will be bathed in both darkness and light simultaneously.  Very often in our thinking we focus on the polar opposite of either or.  Yet many spiritual practices have shared that the key to becoming more peaceful within is in our ability to appreciate and/and or both/and.  This is known as dialectical thinking.

Metaphorical Story Demonstrating the Benefits of Dialectical Thinking

The old river, Life, carved its path through a valley of sharp, conflicting peaks. On one side stood Mount Certainty, its granite face etched with rigid, unyielding lines. On the other, the volatile Volcano of Emotion, perpetually rumbling with fiery, unpredictable eruptions.

A small, sturdy willow, named Resilience, grew in the river’s path. It couldn’t change the mountains, nor could it halt the river’s relentless flow. When the icy winds of Mount Certainty blew, demanding absolute truth, the willow didn’t shatter. Instead, it bent, acknowledging the wind’s force, but remembering the sun’s warmth on its leaves.

When the Volcano of Emotion spewed forth its molten lava of anger or grief, threatening to engulf it, the willow didn’t try to extinguish the fire. Instead, it observed the heat, understanding its power, while anchoring its roots deep into the riverbed, drawing strength from the flowing water.

Resilience understood that the river, Life, wasn’t about choosing one mountain over the other. It was about navigating the space between them. Sometimes, it needed the hard, grounded knowledge from Mount Certainty to understand the river’s course. Other times, it needed the raw, passionate energy from the Volcano of Emotion to fuel its growth.

It learned to hold both the certainty of the mountains and the volatility of the volcano, like two opposing currents within the river, in its branches. It found that by bending and flowing, by embracing the “both/and” of existence, instead of the “either/or,” it could thrive. The river, once a source of fear, became its home, and the conflicting mountains, once menacing, became a beautiful, complex backdrop to its enduring strength.

What is Dialectical Thinking?

Dialectical thinking is a method of reasoning which emphasizes the importance of exploring and reconciling contradictory ideas and perspectives. It moves beyond simple “either/or” thinking, embracing the complexity of “both/and.”

Here is a breakdown of its core concepts and its relationship to philosophy and psychology:  :  

Core Concepts:

Embracing Contradictions:

• Dialectical thinking acknowledges that contradictions are inherent in reality.  
• It seeks to understand how opposing forces interact and influence each other.  

Process of Change:

• It emphasises that reality is dynamic and constantly evolving.  
• Change arises from the interplay of opposing forces.  

Synthesis:

• The goal is not to choose one side over another, but to find a synthesis that integrates the valid aspects of each perspective.
• This synthesis leads to a more comprehensive understanding.

Relationship to Philosophy:

Historical Roots:

• Dialectical thinking has deep roots in philosophical traditions, particularly in the works of philosophers like Socrates, Plato, and Hegel.
• Hegelian dialectics, for example, emphasises the process of thesis, antithesis, and synthesis.  

Epistemology:

• It influences how we understand knowledge and truth, recognising that knowledge is often contextual and subject to change.
• It challenges the idea of absolute truths.

Relationship to Psychology:

Cognitive Processes:

• Dialectical thinking influences our understanding of cognitive processes, recognising that people can hold conflicting beliefs and values.
• It helps to understand how people deal with cognitive dissonance.

Developmental Psychology:

• Dialectical thinking is used to understand how people develop through the lifespan, as they are constantly dealing with internal and external conflicts.  

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT):

• In psychology, dialectical thinking is most prominently featured in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), developed by Marsha Linehan.  
• DBT helps individuals with emotional dysregulation, such as those with borderline personality disorder, to manage intense emotions and improve their relationships.
• DBT emphasises the balance between acceptance and change.

In essence, dialectical thinking provides a framework for understanding the complexities of human experience, both philosophically and psychologically. It encourages us to move beyond rigid thinking and embrace the dynamic and contradictory nature of reality.  

In the self-help industry and metaphysical spiritual circles dialectical thinking is referred to as Shadow Work.  Learning to embrace the shadow part of our psyche enables us to return to a sense of ‘wholeness’ and ‘interconnectedness’.

The concept of “shadow work” stems largely from the work of Carl Jung, who described the “shadow” as the unconscious aspects of our personality which we repress or deny. These can include traits, emotions, or behaviours which we deem unacceptable, either to ourselves or to society.

While often associated with negative qualities, the shadow also contains untapped potential and creativity.   Here is a breakdown of the benefits of embracing the shadow as part of the healing journey:

Benefits of Embracing the Shadow:

Increased Self-Awareness:

• Shadow work forces us to confront aspects of ourselves which we would rather ignore. This leads us into a deeper understanding of our motivations, triggers, and patterns of behaviour.

Emotional Integration:

• By acknowledging and processing repressed emotions, we can achieve greater emotional regulation and balance.  Reducing the likelihood of those emotions manifesting in destructive ways in our lifestyles and relationships.

Enhanced Creativity & Potential:

• The shadow can contain hidden talents and creative impulses which have been suppressed. Integrating these aspects can unlock new sources of energy and inspiration.

Improved Relationships:

• Understanding our own shadow helps us to recognise and accept the shadows of others, leading to greater empathy and compassion in our relationships.

Reduced Projection:

• When we deny our own shadow, we tend to project those unwanted qualities onto others. Shadow work reduces this tendency, leading to more accurate and less judgmental perceptions about ourselves, our loved ones, other cultures and their traditions.

Greater Authenticity:

• By embracing all aspects of ourselves, we can live more authentically and reduce the internal conflict that arises from trying to maintain a false persona.

Personal Empowerment:

• Facing and integrating your shadow self, can lead to a greater sense of personal power, and control of your reactions to the world around you.

Shadow work is about becoming whole in mind, body and spirit. It is about recognising we are not simply “good” or “bad” or “happy” or “sad”.  It is about recognising we are both angry and happy depending on our perception and emotional regulation.  It is about understanding how good people can do bad things and that includes us. 

We are complex multi-dimensional beings with both light and dark aspects to our psyche.  By embracing our shadow, we can move towards greater self-acceptance, emotional maturity, and personal growth.  This leads to greater compassion and empathy for all life.  The key characteristics of a Spirit Keeper and the reason why they choose to embody and hold the wisdom of the ages.

A spirit keeper is not only a caretaker, guardian and healer, they are individuals who embody and ground spiritual energy onto Mother Earth. A spirit keeper is one who has direct experience and knowledge of the Divinity of Life and they do not intellectualise spirituality.  They are called to be a keeper of faith, safeguard morals and values which promote the return to wholeness particularly at times of external chaos.

Spirit keepers are grounded, centred, aligned and present. They live gently on the Earth, feel connected and guided by the Divine.  Spirit keepers intentionally ground higher wisdom and understanding into the thought and emotional fields associated with Mother Earth. 

Dialectical thinking is vitally important for a Spirit Keeper because it enables them to appreciate the wisdom in the light and shadows of life.  They are willing to put in the constant effort and work required to embrace the light and dark side of their own nature which leads to higher levels of conscious awareness and interconnectedness with all life in this dimensional reality of ours.

Parable of the Blind Men & Elephant

The earliest versions of the parable of blind men and elephant is found in Buddhist, Hindu and Jain texts, as they discuss the limits of perception and the importance of complete context. The parable has several variations, but broadly goes as follows:

A group of blind men heard that a strange animal, called an elephant, had been brought to the town, but none of them were aware of its shape and form. Out of curiosity, they said, “We must inspect and know it by touch, of which we are capable”.  So, they sought the elephant out, and when they found it, they each reached out to touch the elephant.

The first person, whose hand landed on the trunk, said, “This being is like a thick snake”.  For the second one whose hand reached the elephant’s ear, it seemed like a kind of fan. The third blind person, placed their hand was upon its leg, said, the elephant is a pillar, like a tree-trunk. The fourth blind man had placed his hand upon the elephant’s side, and he described it “as a wall”.  The fifth blind person who felt the elephant’s tail, described the elephant as a rope. The sixth blind person reached out and felt its tusk, stating the elephant is “hard, smooth and like a spear.”

The blind men discussing their direct experience of the elephant soon came to blows, each believing their own experience of the elephant to be the right one.  As their disagreement grew, a wise man came across the group of blind men and enquired about what they were arguing.  Upon hearing their experiences of the elephant, the wiseman explained they were in fact all correct.  They had truly described the elephant of their direct experience.  However, due to their limited perception of the elephant, they had in fact not realised what the elephant was like in totality. 

Moral of the story is this:  one’s subjective experience contains a grain of truth, but such experience is inherently limited by its failure to account for other truths or a totality of truth. 

Journalling – Observing Dialectical Thought Processes

Spirit Keepers are constantly seeking ways to expand their ability to hold more than one perception and viewpoint of life.  Why?  Because it enables them to understand the viewpoint of another individual who doesn’t necessarily view life’s events from the same values, needs and expression. 

Journalling is a tool which enables you, the Spirit Keeper, to investigate how broad your thinking and feelings are on any subject.  If you have any emotional charge around a particular subject, you can be sure that your viewpoint is quite narrow.  To improve the ability to hold one or more opposing ideas about any subject have a debate with yourself in your journal about a challenging subject and allow your Higher Self to bring insight to your Lower Self.

Summary & Conclusion

Embracing the shadow and recognising the gifts of spirit hidden within the shadows, is a powerful entry into dialectical thinking processes and the direct experience of our interconnectedness with nature. 

Dialectical thinking enables each of us appreciate the magic of our differences and to understand our humanity better.  As we have learnt from the parable of the blind men and elephant, perception will always hold a grain of the truth, but is not necessarily THE TRUTH.  

Dialectical thinking lead us to learning the power of living in the present moment.  Living in the now is when the opposites no longer damage each other.  It ends the suffering of becoming over identified with any one specific perception and reality. The yin yang symbol demonstrates this experience of life beautifully. 

Spirit Keepers recognise the importance of being able to see the part and the whole at the same time.  This is what enables them to be empathetic and compassionate towards others who are on their own healing journey.   Part of their role as a Spirit Keeper is to sow the seeds of dialectical thinking for each person they guide and assist.

Next Month…

June welcomes the summer solstice in the northern hemisphere and the winter solstice in the southern hemisphere.  In many cultures, the solstice was a time of ritual and an opportunity to give thanks to the ‘Gods’. 

Next month we will look at the power of rituals and more specifically how gratitude can help us to find the gift within a challenging experience.

Until next month. From one kindred spirit to another – be safe, be well, be authentically you.

In gratitude

Kathleen