Let me share a recent personal experience that taught me invaluable lessons about alignment, authenticity, and self-care.
Over the past few months, I took on what seemed to be my dream job. It was with an organisation offering counselling and support to a very vulnerable group of people, perfectly complementing my private work and trauma-informed practice in childhood trauma.
However, to my disappointment, the organisation was completely misaligned with my values and approach
As a result, I felt a lack of trust, disorientation, alarm, and depletion. I was physically and emotionally depleted. It was exhausting.
I faced a tough dilemma: should I stay true to my authentic self or suppress the gut feelings screaming that this was not the right place for me?
For weeks, I struggled. My physical and emotional body made it very clear that this was not a healthy environment for me.
Coping Mechanisms
To survive, I unconsciously leaned on coping mechanisms. I tried to fawn and please, becoming overly agreeable, smiling, nodding, and going along with the herd. Meanwhile, internally, I felt physically sick.
Another mechanism was dissociation – pushing everything down, forcing my mind to stay present while disconnecting from my body just to get through each day. My sleep suffered, and I felt constantly on the verge of tears.
My body said, “No.” My authentic self was pleading with me to listen and stop. This job was not in alignment with who I am or what I stand for.
Choosing Authenticity
Eventually, I listened. With trembling hands and a shaky voice, I spoke up. I shared my experiences and honoured the vulnerable, younger part of me that needed care and protection.
I left. I took the time to recover. It was a difficult decision, but it became a powerful and valuable teaching moment.
Reflecting on Alignment
Now, I want to turn this question over to you:
- How do you recognise when your true self is aligned with your choices?
- When do you notice coping mechanisms stepping in to help you survive, and at what cost?
- How does your body tell you when it feels unsafe or unsupported?
- And how far back do these patterns go?
Take some time to reflect. Listen to your body & respond with compassion & care.
If this resonates with you, explore my free resources for support, or feel free to reach out to me directly. Your well-being matters.
Let’s continue the conversation together.
Main – Photo by Dylan Gillis on Unsplash
