Emotions are Visitors
In the intricate tapestry of human experience, emotions play a profound role. Some, like love and joy, are welcomed with open arms, while others, such as fear and shame, are often met with resistance. However, it’s crucial to recognise that emotions, both pleasant and challenging, are mere visitors in the grand scheme of our lives. They come and go, weaving through the fabric of our existence.
Working skilfully with emotions involves a shift in attitude – an acceptance of their impermanent nature. Resistance only prolongs the visit, and in the process of embracing difficult emotions, we unearth profound insights about ourselves.
“Nothing really goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
~ Buddha
Observation and acceptance are key. Observe their arising and accept their momentary presence without resistance. In doing so, we unravel the stories we tell ourselves, recognising that these stories only add fuel to the emotional fire and our suffering.
In the Sea of Emotions, Be the Water
For many of us, we first need to get familiar with feelings. Personally, I did not learn much about feelings at school. I grew up being taught that reason and logic are superior, and feelings are a sign of weakness. So, my journey started with three basic “feelings” of positive, neutral, and negative, and I grew my feelings vocabulary from there.
I invite you to try a visualisation to help assimilate. Imagine yourself as a vast body of water, could be a lake or sea. Feel the water expanding and stretching through your extremities.
From now on, think of yourself as the water.
Within this water, there are fish of different sizes and colours. There might be many fish or few. The fish represents your emotions. Maybe a yellow fish reminds you of love. A red fish of anger. A blue dolphin of excitement. A turtle of calmness. Maybe some are bigger than others. Take a moment and notice what fish were present in your day so far. Remember, let them all swim by, for you are the water!
Practicing awareness of our emotions is akin to identifying the fish in our emotional sea. What fish are swimming in your water now? Knowing what we feel is essential for releasing these emotions.
“Every hindrance is a case of unwise attention”
~ Buddha
When faced with strong emotions, the mind tends to create elaborate stories and we shine the spotlight of our attention on these stories. The invitation is to bring the attention back to the feeling. The first step is to name the feeling. Am I feeling angry, sad, happy, excited? The second step is to remember that you are the water and let the fish swim by.
Emotions as Sensations
Certain emotions tend to be more triggering than others, giving rise to intricate narratives in our minds. These emotions are often linked to intense experiences from our past. When confronted with these emotions, it’s common to feel a sense of being stuck or overwhelmed. For some it is anger, for others sadness or anxiousness.
A useful method of mindfully relating to our strong emotions is to become aware of them as a physical sensation. This may seem like an unfamiliar concept, but all emotions can be felt in the body. For example, anger is often experienced as a tight clenching in the jaw, fear as a gripping sensation in the throat. Bringing our awareness to the sensations of emotions helps ground us in the present moment and is a great antidote to overthinking.
Catch-and-Release
A fun practice is to draw a body of water, artist’s choice, and keep the drawing somewhere close, maybe on the fridge or at your office. Mine was in my journal. Try to pick up the drawing several times a day, adding the type of fish (emotion) that is present in your day. With time, you can just identify with a fish if it’s already drawn or scribble a new one. Aim to do this exercise a few times a day for a week.
For each fish you draw, try noticing three things about the emotion it represents:
- How it feels in the body (the echo or sensation)
- The flavour in the mind (the mood)
- Underlying belief/story (mention it briefly with more focus on the essence rather than the details. For example, I am right/they are wrong)
No worries if not all three are easy to identify from the start. Maybe the stories are easiest to notice for some, for others the sensation. People are different. The starting point is knowing where we are. Remember, this is a catch-and-release practice!
In conclusion, navigating the waves of emotions involves embracing them as transient visitors, exploring the sea of emotions within, recognising their physical manifestations, and engaging in a compassionate catch-and-release practice. By doing so, we embark on a transformative journey toward a more harmonious relationship with our inner world.
Main – Photo by Joseph Barrientos on Unsplash
