Caring for Your Microbiome in Times of Grief
As a nutritionist specialising in women’s health, particularly exhaustion, gut issues, and hormonal imbalances, I’ve seen firsthand how deeply our physical health is linked to emotional wellbeing. My own personal experience with pregnancy loss deepened my understanding of the profound connection between our gut and our emotions, especially during times of grief.
With Baby Loss Awareness Week approaching this October, I felt compelled to share what I’ve learned about nurturing our bodies, particularly when it comes to our gut health, as we navigate the difficult path of loss and healing. Whether you’ve experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or any other form of loss, I hope this article offers comfort and practical support.
The Emotional & Physical Toll of Loss
Grief is a complex beast. It can leave us feeling hollow one moment and overwhelmed the next.
Many women describe feeling a whirlwind of emotions – sadness, anger, guilt, & even moments of numbness.
What’s often less talked about, however, is how these emotions manifest physically in our bodies.
After experiencing loss, many women find themselves grappling not only with emotional pain but also with a body that feels unfamiliar. The hormonal changes that follow can trigger a range of physical symptoms. For example, you may find yourself experiencing bloating or unexpected weight fluctuations. Fatigue can also be experienced, which can be overwhelming, leaving you feeling exhausted even after a full night’s sleep.
Sleep itself may often become elusive, with your mind racing just as you try to rest. Your relationship with food might change too, with your appetite swinging between non-existent and insatiable hunger.
These physical symptoms aren’t just side effects of grief. They’re intrinsically linked to how our bodies process emotions. And at the heart of this process is an often-overlooked player: our digestive system.
Grief’s Impact On Our Gut
Miscarriage is heartbreakingly common. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. In any group of four women, odds are at least one has experienced this loss. But this isn’t just about statistics, it’s about countless women navigating a perfect storm of hormonal chaos, emotional turmoil, and physical distress.
At the eye of this storm is our gut, which is intimately tied to how we process grief.
When we experience stress or grief, our body goes into a state of ‘high alert’. This triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol, which can disrupt the delicate balance of our gut microbiome. This disruption to our gut health can, in turn, intensify our emotional distress. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle. Grief impacts our gut, and our compromised gut health then makes it harder for us to cope emotionally. This is why nurturing our gut health is so crucial during the healing process.
Practical Tips for Nurturing Your Microbiome
So, how can we care for our gut health during times of grief?
Here are some practical tips that I’ve found helpful, both personally and in my practice:
Embrace Probiotic-Rich Foods: Fermented foods like kefir, sauerkraut, kimchi kombucha and miso are wonderful probiotic rich foods. These beneficial bacteria can help restore balance to your gut microbiome and support digestion, nutrient absorption, and strengthen the gut barrier. Try snacking on a small bowl of plain, unsweetened kefir topped with fresh berries, or simply add some plain kefir to your smoothies. Opt for a refreshing kombucha instead of a fizzy soft drink to get in some probiotic goodness and still get that bubbly fix without the high added sugar load.
Focus on Fibre: Prebiotic fibres nourish the gut by feeding the good bacteria in your gut, helping them grow and thrive. To boost your fibre intake, try incorporating a variety of plant-based foods. Try adding some lentils or chickpeas to your soups and salads or adding seeds such as chia or ground flaxseeds to your meals for an extra fibre boost. Try and opt for whole grains such as quinoa, brown rice, and oats over refined grains. If your appetite is low, you can blend leafy greens like spinach, kale or frozen cauliflower into a smoothie with filtered water and fruits such as banana, apple or pear for a gentle, nourishing fibre rich option.
Stay Hydrated: Proper hydration is crucial for both your emotional and physical wellness. Rather than wait until you are thirsty to reach for a glass of water, try to sip water consistently throughout the day to keep up hydration. I find keeping a refillable water bottle close by makes frequent hydration easier to remember and maintain. Smoothies as I’ve already mentioned, help to hydrate, or you can try infusing your plain water with fresh fruit slices (such as lemon, orange, cucumber or berries) to add a subtle flavour and make staying hydrated more appealing. Soothing herbal teas such as chamomile, peppermint, ginger, and Tulsi tea are also great options that are calming for both emotions and digestion, while counting towards your water intake.
Engage in Gentle Movement: If you’re navigating grief, exercise might be the last thing on your mind, but gentle movement can work wonders for both your gut health and your emotional state. Something as simple as a regular walk outdoors in nature and natural daylight, some light yoga, or some daily stretching can help reduce stress and promote healthy digestion. Don’t be afraid to explore other forms of gentle exercise you enjoy, to help lift your mood, whether that’s a dance class, a swim, or a Pilates class.
Prioritise Sleep: Quality sleep is essential for both gut health and emotional healing, as our body rests and repairs. Aim for 7-9 hours a night of sleep and try to establish a relaxing bedtime routine to help prepare your mind and body for restful sleep. This might include reading a book, taking an Epsom salt bath, or reflecting on positive moments in a gratitude journal. If racing thoughts keep you awake, consider trying meditation or deep breathing exercises before bed to help soothe both your body and mind.
Be Mindful of Comfort Eating: While it’s completely normal to crave comfort foods during times of stress, try to be mindful of overindulging in sugary or processed foods. These can disrupt your gut bacteria and potentially worsen mood swings. Instead, try to find comfort in nourishing alternatives. Try snacking on dark chocolate (70% cocoa or higher) with nuts, or apple slices topped with nut butter. Other satisfying choices could be Greek yogurt with berries and walnuts, dates with nuts, oven-roasted chickpeas, kale chips, or a protein-rich smoothie.
Be kind & patient with yourself: Grieving is a process that takes time. Be gentle with yourself and don’t underestimate the power of emotional support in your physical healing. Whether it’s talking to a friend, reaching out to a support group, or seeing a therapist, expressing your emotions can help alleviate the physical stress on your body.
Final Note
Remember, healing isn’t linear. There will be good days and bad days, but by focusing on your gut health, you’re laying a foundation to better cope with the emotional waves. Caring for your gut health might seem like a small thing in the face of such enormous grief, but in my experience, it’s an important part of emotional healing. These small acts of self-care can be powerful in creating a stronger footing as you weather the storm and move forward on your healing journey.
Small daily routines like taking a regular walk outside or sipping a soothing herbal tea before bed became an anchor for me, especially when everything felt out of control. These simple practices helped me reconnect with my body when I felt emotionally drained. They reminded me that nurturing my gut health wasn’t just about physical wellness – it was about supporting my overall wellbeing during an incredibly difficult time.
To those of you reading this who are in the midst of loss, please know that you’re not alone. Grief is a powerful force that affects your entire body, gut included. Be gentle with yourself. Your feelings are valid, your grief is real, and your healing journey is your own. And if caring for your gut health can provide even a small measure of comfort or control during this time, then it’s a worthy endeavour indeed.
If you have been affected by Baby Loss and need support, consider reaching out to Tommy’s, a charity that provides support for anyone affected by baby loss. They offer a free helpline (0800 0147 800) and online resources at www.tommys.org. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making significant changes to your diet or lifestyle, especially if you have existing health conditions or are undergoing treatment.
