Mental Health Week is upon us, and it’s time for all of us to take a breath and check in with ourselves. This is how I always start my day.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with CPTSD. My name is Lisa, I’m 42 years old, a mother of three (one of whom lives in the stars), and I live with my amazing partner and my two fabulous rainbow babies.
Life was good until I suffered my first miscarriage at 19, but life went on, and I found myself pregnant again with Mia. All was well until my 20-week scan, where I discovered she had a chromosome disorder called Trisomy 13. Although the support I received was helpful in some ways, I also faced a doctor who suggested I terminate my pregnancy at 24 weeks, as I was young and could have more children. My beautiful daughter Mia was stillborn later in the pregnancy.
The same day, as I was giving birth upstairs, my beloved grandmother was rushed in downstairs with a brain bleed. Sadly, she passed away that same day, leaving me devastated and feeling like my world was crumbling.
My relationship fell apart, and I felt utterly broken. I wanted to run away, and that’s exactly what I did. An old friend invited me to stay with him and his brother, so I packed a bag and left. My intention was to return home eventually, but things took a turn for the worse.
In my vulnerable state, I got close to someone who wasn’t good for me, and before I knew it, I was pregnant again. The pregnancy was a blur, as I was completely dissociated from myself.
My daughter was born into a challenging situation, with her father battling drug addiction and domestic abuse. Feeling too ashamed to seek help, I ended up miles from home, grappling with my decisions.
Eventually, my daughter and I found ourselves in a women’s refuge, starting over in London. I met my now-partner, and we finally found safety. However, my daughter, diagnosed with PTSD due to the abuse she had witnessed, faced her own struggles.
In 2014, my partner and I welcomed our surprise son into the world, but his health issues at birth brought back painful memories of Mia.
Then I rediscovered yoga. A local yoga class opened up a new world to me. Although my mental health wasn’t great, yoga became a lifeline. I undertook my first yoga teacher training in 2018, but I felt lost.
Yoga began to change my life. Time on my mat allowed me to tap into my emotions and start to unravel my thoughts. I was dissociated, experiencing flashbacks, and felt broken.
I continued my journey with yoga, which ultimately led me to a meditation retreat where I realised that none of my past experiences were my fault. After spending years blaming myself, yoga and therapy helped me heal.
Last year, I underwent EMDR therapy, which was transformative. My therapist, pregnant at the time, guided me through the process, helping me reprogram my brain and heal from trauma.
Today, my life is better. I have a well-being plan that guides me, and I share my experiences openly to help others. Yoga has been instrumental in my healing journey, and I encourage anyone struggling to remember that life can get better -one day at a time.
For further insights, you can read this great article: Yoga for better mental health.
You can learn more about me on my website Yoga-Bright and find me on social media, where I share my offerings.
Main – Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash
