Prioritise Joy, Intimacy & Fulfillment in Your Life
Have you ever felt stretched too thin, like you’re wearing a hundred hats but none of them quite fit?
Maybe you’re juggling the endless responsibilities of being a mum, the supportive partner and the loyal friend—while quietly battling feelings of not being or doing enough in any of them. And then there’s everything else. Perhaps you’re managing work, fertility challenges or trying to find time for your wellbeing. You tell yourself you’ll prioritise you someday but somehow, that day never comes. Time always feels like it’s slipping away and you end up putting everyone else first. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
Many women come to me feeling exactly this way—overwhelmed, burned out and unsure how to reconnect with themselves. They’re craving more joy, confidence and intimacy. They want to feel at peace in their own skin again but don’t know where to start. Life pulls us in so many directions that we forget who we truly are. We lose touch with the dreams and desires that once made us feel alive. But here’s the truth: every relationship you have—whether with your partner, your children, or anyone else—starts with the one you have with yourself. When you reconnect with who you are, balancing the many roles you play becomes easier. You’ll rediscover the joy, intimacy and satisfaction you’ve been missing—and maybe even more than you thought possible. Let’s explore how to find your way back to you.
1. Why Women Lose Themselves in Life’s Many Roles – & How to Reclaim Yourself
a. The “Good Girl” Blueprint: How Society Shapes Our Identity
From the moment we take our first steps in life, we’re encouraged to step into roles. For many, it starts with being the “good girl”, the “good daughter”, the “good sister”, eager to please and meet expectations. As time goes on, this pattern expands—becoming a supportive partner, a dependable friend, a reliable colleague and a devoted mother.
From childhood, society and culture shape how we see ourselves. Maybe you were taught to always put others first, to sacrifice your dreams for your family or to push through overwhelm without complaint. These messages run deep, especially when fertility struggles or wellbeing challenges come into play, adding extra layers of self-doubt and guilt.
Women often tell me, “I’ve been so focused on being what I should be—a good partner, a perfect mum, a supportive friend—that I’ve forgotten what I truly want”. Sound familiar?
These expectations mold us into caregivers and problem-solvers, the glue holding everything together. But as fulfilling as these roles can be, they often push aside the parts of us that feel joy, creativity and freedom. It’s like living a life filled with “shoulds”, where your own dreams and desires are left behind.
b. The Weight of Fertility Struggles: Juggling Expectations and Emotional Burdens
When facing fertility struggles, life can feel all-encompassing, touching every corner of your existence. The emotional burden is heavy—tracking cycles, navigating endless consultations and riding the rollercoaster of hope and disappointment.
Relationships can feel pressured as partners often process emotions differently. Men and women rarely handle these challenges the same way, which can create misunderstandings or build emotional distance. Add family expectations, unsolicited advice or judgmental comments and the stress builds even higher. To protect yourself, you might wear the “everything’s fine” mask, hiding your true feelings deep within.
And then there’s everything else: balancing a demanding career, trying to maintain friendships even when you feel disconnected and juggling the never-ending to-do lists of daily life. It’s like carrying the weight of a thousand things, leaving little room—or energy—for yourself.
All these roles come at a cost: putting your needs last. Over time, this self-neglect builds up, leaving you stretched thin and unsure of who you are outside of the hats you wear.
c. Reclaim the Woman Behind the Roles: Simple Steps to Start Today
It happens so gradually, doesn’t it? One day, you’re chasing dreams, feeling full of life and possibilities. The next, you’re so consumed by caring for others—whether it’s your family, you partner or fertility treatments—that you barely recognise the person in the mirror.
The disconnection starts small. Maybe you let go of hobbies you love, put your dreams on hold or stop prioritizing your health. Over time, it grows until you wonder: “Who am I beyond these roles?”.
Here’s the truth: this isn’t permanent. You don’t have to feel trapped by everything life asks of you.. Simply recognizing that you’ve been acting on autopilot—without consciously realizing what’s been happening—or understanding through reading this article that this is what’s been going on in your life, is a powerful first step. From here, you can choose to start looking at your life through a new lens and reconnect with your true self, bit by bit. It’s not about abandoning anyone—it’s about nurturing the most important person in your life: you.
This is just the beginning. If you’re ready to take a simple, empowering step, my free wellbeing and fertility course will guide you.
2. The Impact of Forgetting the Woman Behind the Roles
a. Exhaustion & the Cost of Putting Yourself Last
Let’s face it: modern life is exhausting, especially when you’re balancing so much. Whether it’s tracking fertility cycles, managing a demanding career or being there for your loved ones, you often find yourself giving and giving until there’s nothing left. By the end of the day, when everyone else’s needs have been met, there’s no energy left for intimacy—not even with yourself. The cycle of exhaustion leaves you feeling like intimacy is just another box to tick, instead of a source of joy and connection.
And then there’s the emotional fatigue. Maybe you feel unseen, like all your efforts go unnoticed. You give so much but rarely receive the validation or support you crave. Over time, this can turn into resentment—not because you don’t love the people in your life but because you feel stretched so thin that there’s no space left for the things that once brought you pleasure.
b. Reclaiming Your Role as a Woman First
Here’s the truth: intimacy starts with you. It’s not about being the “perfect partner” or ticking off another role on your endless to-do list. It’s about reconnecting with the woman behind all those roles—the part of you that craves joy, pleasure and fulfilment. This isn’t selfish; it’s essential. When you nurture your own needs, desires and emotions, you create space to show up more fully in every other area of your life.
Think about it: when was the last time you did something just for yourself? Whether it’s a quiet moment with your favourite book, a long bath or reconnecting with your body through a gentle foot massage.
These small acts of self-care form the foundation of self-love and intimacy. They remind you that you matter—not just as a partner, a friend or a mother but as a woman.
When you begin to nurture this side of yourself, everything changes. You start to feel more in tune with your body and more connected to the essence of who you are—because you’re giving yourself the space you need. This shift naturally and gently transforms your relationships too, bringing more lightness and joy into your life. By giving yourself what you’ve been craving from others, you realise that it starts with you—and that self-love is the foundation for everything else.
c. Pleasure as a Pathway to Connection
Reclaiming intimacy doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With so many demands draining your energy, it’s time to embrace simplicity. It’s not about grand gestures or radical changes—it’s about small, meaningful steps that honour you as a woman. Start by releasing the guilt that tells you it’s wrong to prioritise yourself. By choosing satisfaction and pleasure—whether it’s taking a few minutes of stillness or saying ‘no’ to something that depletes you—you’re laying the groundwork for every other role you play in your life.
True intimacy begins when you show up for yourself first. By reconnecting with your inner essence, your body and what genuinely brings satisfaction to your life, you create a ripple effect that transforms not just your relationship with your yourself but your relationship with life itself.
3. Simple Shifts to Reconnect with Yourself and Your Partner
a. Start with You: Reconnecting with Your Essence
To reconnect with intimacy, start by nurturing your relationship with yourself. Dedicate small, intentional moments each day to focus on what brings you joy and peace. Whatever it is, make sure you create space every single day for something that brings you pure satisfaction—this is one of the first recommendations I give to my clients. I guide them to create a list ranging from very small to significant things they can do daily. The key is to choose one item from the list every day. It could be something seemingly simple, like enjoying a cup of tea or taking a walk in nature or something more indulgent, like a full-body massage. The size of the act doesn’t matter—what matters is that it’s meaningful to you.
These small acts of self-care are more than just routines—they’re powerful reminders that you matter more than anything and anyone else in your life. By prioritising yourself, you’re laying the foundation for deeper connections with others.
Take a moment to reflect on what truly brings you satisfaction and create your very own list over the next few days. What lights you up? What makes you feel whole? Take five minutes right now and start building your list—it’s the first step towards reconnecting with your essence.
b. Why Self-Love is the Secret to Confidence and Deeper Connection in Life
The truth is, many of us don’t really know what self-love is. We see it everywhere—people say it’s essential and that everything starts with self-love. Yet, no one really teaches us what it looks like or how to build a healthy relationship with ourselves. Instead, we often learn to feel like we’re not enough, that we don’t have enough and that our worth is tied to what we do for others.
Reconnecting with self-love is essential and it doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Start with the little things: set boundaries that protect your energy, create space for rest and play and indulge in moments that bring you pleasure. Run a warm bath, wear something that makes you feel beautiful, swipe on that bold red lipstick or kick off your shoes and ground yourself in the grass. These small, intentional acts are powerful reminders of your worth—they reconnect you to your mind, body and essence in simple yet meaningful ways.
When you prioritise yourself, even in the smallest opportunities, you naturally strengthen the foundation for intimacy. You show up for yourself with more confidence, joy and self-respect. This energy ripples outward, transforming how you connect with others and how you experience life. Self-love isn’t selfish—it’s the key to everything.
c. Cultivate Connection with Your Partner
Rebuilding intimacy with your partner begins with deepening the intimacy you have with yourself. By prioritising self-respect and making yourself your number one priority, you open the door to more genuine, fulfilling relationships.
This decision shifts the dynamic from playing roles and wearing masks to embracing honest, open communication. When you step into your authentic self—perfectly imperfect—you naturally invite deeper connection, rooted in authenticity.
As you fill your own cup first, you become less focused on unmet expectations or what others give (or don’t give) you. This change reduces resentment and creates space for understanding. Sharing your feelings and desires with your partner becomes less about blame and more about creating opportunities for mutual growth and trust. Replace criticisms with vulnerability, saying, “I feel overwhelmed and could use support,” rather than, “You never help me.” These small shifts lead to profound changes in how you relate to one another.
While every day might not be easy, committing to this journey with intention and patience will lead to progress. By consistently returning to the essence of what matters most—yourself—you lay the foundation for a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. When you give yourself love, care and understanding, you radiate that same energy outward, transforming your relationship with your partner and your life.
Conclusion: The Journey Back to Yourself
Life’s demands can make it easy to lose sight of who you are beneath the many roles you play. But remember, the most meaningful relationships you have—with your partner, your family and even life itself—start with the relationship you have with yourself.
Reconnecting with your essence isn’t about grand gestures or dramatic changes; it’s about small, intentional steps that remind you of your worth and bring you back to what truly matters. It’s about giving yourself permission to prioritise your joy, your needs and your desires without guilt.
When you take time to nurture yourself—whether through moments of rest, acts of self-care or simply allowing yourself to be—you create space for deeper connections with others. You show up more fully, with confidence and authenticity, because you’ve reconnected with the woman you are at your core.
This journey won’t always be easy but it will be worth it. By choosing to honour and love yourself first, you’ll rediscover the joy, intimacy and satisfaction that have always been within your reach. The path to a fulfilling life begins with you—and every step you take toward yourself will ripple outward, transforming the way you experience everything and everyone around you.
Say yes to yourself.
Start small – one moment of self-care at a time. Access my free wellbeing and fertility course and take your first step today.
Main – Photo by Andre Furtado
