I teach confidence as a core unshakeable sense of identity and belief in who you are. It doesn’t have to be loud; it doesn’t have to be showy; it can be a quiet power. But it’s something that you can hold on to when things around you feel unsteady. This might seem like it goes against the traditional way of thinking about confidence, but I’ve seen more true growth from this approach than any ‘fake it till you make it’ scheme.
However, this kind of personal development will ask for two key things from you: hard work and courage. Courage is about being brave rather than being fearless. In fact, I would go as far as to say, if you don’t feel afraid, are you really being courageous? Courage in the context of confidence is needed for vulnerability, self-exploration and understanding, being prepared to stand out, and being willing to let your own light shine.
The world needs you to be who you are. There is only one you; only one person with your unique combination of skills, strengths, experiences, beliefs, upbringing, values, passions, talents, desires, and goals. Think of how much you could do if you embraced that. But so many of us hide who we are or don’t realise the power of being who we are because we are afraid of what other people think, what they might say, or how we might be perceived and treated.
So here are three ways to use courage to develop confidence.
#1 The courage to be your whole self.
Being your whole self asks you to look at those skills, strengths, experiences etc. as previously mentioned. It asks you to be honest about what they are, where they came from, and what you learnt from them. It also asks you to explore some of the negative labels that we put on ourselves and again challenging where they came from, whose voice might have put them there, whether they are true, and whether they are helping or hindering us.
#2 The courage to be your true self.
Being your true self asks you to look at ways of bringing your identified skills, strengths, experiences etc. to the table. It asks you to have the courage to put yourself forward in situations where they would add something positive, be helpful, or provide encouragement to others. Being your true self creates safety and space for others to do the same which is an amazing thing to be able to do for someone; we just have to be brave enough to do it first.
#3 The courage to be your best self.
Being your best self asks you to look at how you can continue to develop, what you might need to enhance your skills, strengths, experiences etc. or what new ones you might want to grow. It asks you to look at how you might be able to get rid of or overcome the things that are holding you back which might mean making some courageous but scary decisions about where you are in in your life, who you share it with, and where you want to go.
If you feel that you would like help to build your confidence, I offer one-to-one coaching packages and would love to talk further with you about how they might help. You can get in touch with me on gemma@iamconnected.co.uk.
Main – Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
