Too Emotional… - Health & Wellbeing Magazine by Foyht

…or Emotional Too?

We are all emotional beings, literal full stop.

Whether we are perceived as more or less emotional is a comment on the way the regulation of our emotions appears to the onlooker, as opposed to any question regarding the pure existence of the emotions themselves.

The Real Question Is…

Are you too emotional,
Being ruled by your emotions in a destructive and disruptive way that strips your life of joy and balance?

Emotional too,
A human being experiencing emotions as part of the collective consciousness we all share and that connects us all?

Somewhere along the line we started to view successful emotional regulation as being more like Dr Spock, than Captain Kirk.

As healing and authenticity have thankfully moved to the forefront of the wellness narrative in recent years, we realise that healthy, constructive management of our emotions looks more like Deanna Troi, the empath and ship’s counsellor.

The way in which we regulate our emotions affects everyone that we come into contact with. The biggest impact is the ongoing internal and eternal invisible conversation that we are having with ourselves. It is this personal dialogue that creates the proverbial butterfly effect, with strong mental gusts of wind seeding doubt, fear, and judgement. If left unchecked and suppressed instead of processed, these inevitably fan out and spread their wings in incrementally louder and more chaotic ways in order to be heard.

As chaos theory succinctly describes:

“Even tiny variations in the starting point can lead to vastly different outcomes over time.” [1]

The way we regulate our emotions can give the appearance of being overly emotional at one end of the spectrum, and devoid of emotion at the other end. Somewhere in the centre is the literal happy medium.

The Cost of Suppression

Existing on the precipice of either extreme is fraught with landmines and sinkholes. Suppressing emotion ultimately leads to periodic explosions, like road rage or ‘Karen’ moments, while turning inward causes mental anguish and physical illness.

Dr Gabor Maté captures the holistic nature of the link between emotional and physical wellness elegantly:

“Authentic expression is an essential aspect of health. What we suppress, the body expresses.” [2]

Conversely, spewing emotion uncontrollably like a runaway train mowing down every person in your path, and hijacking every thought, can be isolating, as the never-ending fireworks leave no space for real connection or internal peace.

Frustrating and infuriating as it may feel at times, emotional fluctuations are an inherent part of the human journey. Emotions are signposts and signals, and these challenges, should we choose to accept them, will ultimately deliver a continuous path for personal evolution and mental processing. This leads to an ever-increasing sense of contentment in our daily experiences, empowering us to ride out the inevitable fluctuations with mindfulness, curiosity and hopefully a little bit of grace, rather than resistance, avoidance, and perpetual pandemonium.

Becoming the Silent Observer

Paradoxically, in order to do this we do need to step back from our emotions and take the position described in Buddhism as the ‘silent observer’, or ‘inner witness’. [3] By doing this, we can begin to practise mindfulness, which can be used as a springboard for healthy emotional regulation.

Interestingly, we are often so afraid of that moment of confrontation with our own emotions that we stay stuck, ignoring the signals our bodies, minds, and spirits are desperately trying to convey. The issue with this approach is that the initially small problem, if we don’t listen, will begin to be amplified by everything that is ‘you’.

Your most authentic self will formulate a strategy using every tool at the disposal of your consciousness to get that distress signal through.

It’s Not Complicated, Just Unfamiliar

The great news is, learning tools to regulate our emotions and build emotional resilience is not complicated and is well within our reach, even if it is scary at first. Fortunately, now, there are an abundance of options we can learn and utilise when a wave of emotions heads our way and feels overwhelming.

Dr Joe Dispenza provides a skilful guide in his book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, to help us move forward after acknowledging:

“The hardest part about change is not making the same choices you made the day before.” [4]

We have the luxury of innumerable options to assist us in transformation, everything from traditional talk therapy to meditation to Deepak Chopra AI [5] are invaluable in helping us to swim across the waters of our emotions safely.

Take time to explore and critically investigate modalities that resonate for you. Once we commit to learning techniques, expanding our knowledge and opening our awareness to the rhythms of our own currents, we can skilfully navigate through them again and again, emerging ever stronger for the effort.

That’s One Vantage Point. Pivot – There’s a B Side.

What if we don’t know the problem is there, or can’t quite put our finger on what it is?

The aforementioned techniques are great for issues we are consciously aware of. But what about feelings that lie below the surface? Or current challenges that haven’t been absorbed enough to articulate yet? Or those pesky ingrained patterns that others can see us play out over and over again, that somehow slip through our fingers like so many grains of sand whenever we try to hold them long enough to make a change?

And what about the day-to-day ripples that we think don’t matter and aren’t affecting us, but left unprocessed can build cumulatively and quietly until the dam wall breaks and we wonder where all that pressure came from?

The Body Knows

The good news is, we are built for this. Our physical body is our processing machine.

Just move.

Walk. Run. Dance. Climb. Ride a bike. Hit the gym. Swim. Hike. Play sport.

You get the idea. The most important thing is to choose activities that you can realistically show up for consistently. Move in some way every day. And it doesn’t have to be a traditional form of ‘exercise’.

Housework counts. Gardening counts. Walking the dog. If you’re moving regularly, you are creating the lubrication needed for mental flossing. You will feel energetically lighter. And you will feel it if you become lax on consistency, and you will crave the movement that reliably delivers a gateway to holistic balance.

With consistent physical activity, we tap into our ongoing in-house mechanism for perpetual emotional processing.

Moving our bodies serves as the catalyst that sets in motion our intuitive, innate motor that drives us towards balance. Have you ever noticed that when you start exercising, you tend to gravitate towards healthier food choices, sleep better and feel better?

Yes. Feel better. When we move, we are booting up our emotional regulation programme. Running it. Refreshing it. Upgrading it. Enjoying the experiences it offers.

Dr John J. Ratey’s book Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain breaks down the science for us:

“Exercise balances neurotransmitters—serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine—all of which play a crucial role in regulating mood and emotional stability.” [6]

Just as with all holistic wellness, the actions that have the most impact are surprisingly obvious and simple, hiding in plain sight as the case may be.

Ironically, the more consistently we move our bodies, the more stillness, emotional stability and serenity we find.

References

Main – photo from Canva