The Power of Financial Wellness
This article is going to cover building confidence in a completely different way. And at first, what Iâm about to discuss with you might seem somewhat left-field. In fact, some of you reading this are going to instantly switch off or get irritated and thatâs ok. Because the fact that youâve been triggered or irritated by the topic weâre about to cover, means youâre ready to make some changes in this area, which in turn will increase your self-belief and give a massive boost to your confidence.
And what is this much neglected area that will have a profound impact on your confidence?
Money!
More specifically, the state of your finances and the impact this is having on your life.
Iâm going to tell you the summary nowâŚ.
If you want to increase your confidence, improve your financial security.
Itâs that simple! Yet when it comes to money, we are often so emotionally hung up by money that we put our head in the sand and ignore it. This is particularly true for those of us in healing or coaching professions. And yet a lack of money is perhaps one of the most damaging things you can do to yourself long term.
Now stay with me. Remember, I said that some of you might instantly be turned off by even the thought of money. However, money is a bigger deal than any of us typically admit. For example, financial worries are the number one reason cited for divorce! How crazy is that?! Just think about itâŚtwo people love each other enough to commit to spending the rest of their lives together. Yet a lack of money can destroy this love and the relationship entirely.
Many people say, âMoney isnât important.â
And unfortunately, they are totally and damagingly wrong!
As the late great Zig Ziglar used to say, âMoney is not the most important thing in life, but it is right up there just below oxygen.â In todayâs society, we need money to do pretty much anything. You want something to eat, or a roof over your head, or clothes to wear? Either you pay for these things using your own money, or you have to accept charity from someone else who has the money to pay for them.
Not having enough money is incredibly stressful and knocks your self-belief. It will massively erode your confidence of being able to cope with whatever life throws at you.
If youâre always worrying about paying your bills; or having enough money in your account to cover groceries; or paying for your childrenâs education; these concerns will erode your sense of worth and happiness in the present moment. Unsurprisingly, your confidence then takes a hit. And it will keep on taking hits the longer that money concerns continue.
How do I know this?
I was once over ÂŁ100,000 in debt.
And I was only earning around ÂŁ20,000 a year.
So I know first-hand the impact a lack of money has!
Now I wish I could say that I was so badly in debt because of a crazy weekend in Las Vegas. Or perhaps that I was a victim of circumstancesâŚ..âIt wasnât my fault!â However, the reality is that I created this mess all on my own.
Yes, there were external factors. Yes, life threw me several curve balls. Yes, I come from a background and a family where we didnât have much money. However, fundamentally there are two factors that contributed to my financial reality and both are entirely and have always been under my control: my money mindset and my financial habits.
Working hard for money and not having much to go around was a large part of my family’s unconscious mindset around money. The beliefs and mindsets we grow up with, that our parents have, are usually the beliefs we adopt as our own. Even when I had grown up and left home, I continued this pattern: I worked hard and put in the hours, yet always seemed to be struggling financially. This continued even when I started working as an Osteopath and earning what felt like a good income. Over time, things kept âhappeningâ to my money and whether I had a good month or a bad month, somehow, the money would disappear from my account. Somehow and someway, the money was always spent. It wasnât that anyone else was spending it, but my own unconscious habits and actions meant I was getting rid of my money, always spending more than I had, earning less than I wanted, and feeling smaller and smaller every month.
Now, why would I keep sabotaging myself and creating financial hardship when I was trying so hard to make money?
Itâs because my unconscious brain was trying to give me a benefit it perceived as more important than my financial success: connection to my family. By continuing the pattern of not having enough money and working excessively hard I remained able to connect and relate in the same way Iâd always done with my family. Entirely unconscious and unspoken, yet a fear of being different to my family meant I self-sabotaged my own finances and created a whole world of unnecessary debt, health-impacting stress and massive self-doubt.
It took me to being over ÂŁ100,000 in debt and becoming a father before I finally made a commitment to do things differently and create a different reality. It definitely wasnât easy and it didnât happen overnight. However, changing my money mindset and my financial habits progressively over the past 7 years, my family and I are now financially secure for the rest of our lives, whether I work or not. And much more importantly, my self-belief and confidence have sky-rocketed.
Is it having more money that increased my confidence?
No!
Itâs the knowledge and self-belief that no matter what happens in life I am able to make more money and look after my loved ones. Having more money in your bank account makes life easier. Whereas, being able to create more money gives you freedom and stops you being a victim of circumstances. This is where true confidence comes from!
