That elusive unicorn that often feels like it’s galloping just out of reach.
Ask ten people what success looks like, and you’ll get ten answers ranging from “a six-figure income” to “making it through a Monday without needing a nap and a glass of wine.”
As a coach and hypnotherapist, I see people chasing success like it’s a rogue shopping trolley in a windy car park—wobbly, unpredictable, and sometimes headed straight for a crash against the curb.
We’re told to visualise it,
manifest it,
journal about it.
But before we can do any of that, we need to ask ourselves a very honest question: Whose definition of success am I chasing?
If you’ve found yourself ticking boxes you didn’t put there—congratulations, you’ve been hypnotised. Not by me (I’m ethical), but by society, family expectations, and that oddly motivational guy on Instagram who wakes up at 4 a.m. to do cold plunges and eat raw liver.
Success, for one person, might look like scaling Everest in Lycra. For another, it might be having the courage to say “no” to a third Zoom meeting that could’ve been an email. Both are valid. Both are heroic in their own way.
One of my clients described her version of success as “feeling calm enough to enjoy a cup of tea without checking my phone.” That’s not going to win her a TED Talk, but it’s a powerful act of reclaiming her time, her attention, and her sanity. In a world that tells us to hustle harder, slowing down is a rebellious move.
Honestly, sometimes success is just remembering where you parked the car.
In my sessions, I often use metaphors to help clients connect with their subconscious beliefs. So let’s try one. Imagine success is a garden. Some people want roses—loud, showy, full of fragrance. Others want succulents—low maintenance, quietly thriving in a sunny spot. Some just want to sit on the grass and have a picnic. And that’s the point: if you’re planting someone else’s seeds, don’t be surprised if you don’t like what grows.
The key is to define success in a way that fits you. Not your neighbour. Not your boss. Not your dog—although frankly, a dog’s idea of success (walks, snacks, naps) is deeply aspirational.
So, take a moment. Breathe. Ask yourself: What does your success look like?
Not the glossy, filtered version. The real, slightly messy, wonderfully human version.
And if you’re still not sure? Start small. Today, success might just be flossing your teeth or resisting the urge to Google symptoms. Baby steps count.
Because success, at its core, isn’t about arriving—it’s about becoming. Preferably with snacks.
Ready To Get Curious About Your Own Version Of Success?
Here are a couple of light-yet-powerful prompts to explore:
1. The “Perfect Unproductive Day” Exercise
Imagine you had a full day off with zero obligations, expectations, or Wi-Fi. What would you do, just for you?
(No judgment—if your answer is “eat toast in bed and talk to my plants,” you’re winning.)
What you choose reveals what brings you actual joy—not performative productivity.
2. The One-Word Check-In
Ask yourself: What’s one word that describes how success feels to me?
Not looks like, but feels like. Safe? Free? Expansive?
That feeling is your North Star—keep steering towards it, even if it takes the more scenic route.
Journal or Next Coffee Chat Prompt:
“If no one else could see or judge my life, what would I do differently?”
