Why Logic is Not Enough?

Have you ever found yourself wondering why on earth you have done something that defies all logic?

We humans are rational beings, but sometimes that logic goes out the window.

Here are the voices of some of my clients from the past:

“Why did I leave this report to the last minute? I am procrastinating and ended up staying up til 3 am in a panic trying to finish it.”

 “Why did I take my boyfriend back? I know this relationship is toxic for me!”

“Why did I not stop after 2 cookies but ate the whole packet?”

So, why do we procrastinate?

Or deny the truth about an unhealthy relationship?

Or get stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage with food?

Each of us has a Life Script or ‘blueprint’ which is often unconscious. This Life Script plays on a loop in our minds and is acted out in our lives. It can dictate our behaviour by ‘hijacking’ our brains and responses. All of this can be going on totally outwith our awareness.

The concept of a Life Script comes from a therapy called Transactional Analysis, which I trained in during the 1990s.

Our Life Script was created when we were between the ages of 0-7 years and is influenced by messages, beliefs, and decisions formed in these early years, often in response to childhood experiences. These messages can be positive or negative and shape our perceptions, attitudes, and behaviours. In this way, the unique story of:

• Who we are
• What is ‘ok’ or not,
• If we are ‘ok’ or not is written.

Some of these may serve us well, but others can be downright wonky (not a clinical term!). Frequently, clients seek therapy because they are experiencing anxiety, depression, addiction, or the impact of past trauma. However, underneath these issues can be Life Script Beliefs such as:

“I am not good enough.”

“I can never say no.”

“It is weak to show my feelings.”

I am only ok if I am never angry.”

Our Life Script affects EVERYTHING in our personal and professional life. This internal Life Script is not always logical, as the Beliefs in it were created by each of us as children. This is why we might repeat the same unfathomable patterns, getting the same uncomfortable outcomes, time and time again. Even though logic tells us this does not make sense or it might even be harming us.

Our limiting Beliefs are woven into our Life Script, resulting in us living out these limiting Life Script Beliefs and discarding the actual facts. These Life Script Beliefs are about ourselves, others, and our world.

I had a client who maintained she was stupid despite excelling in her career. You see, the evidence or facts suggested she was anything but stupid, but her Life Script Belief was that she was just not clever at all. She lived her life as if the latter was true.

They can manifest in various ways, such as repeating patterns like self-sabotage, procrastination, self-defeating actions, feeling like an imposter, an inability to say no, or impulsiveness. We need to uncover these unconscious Life Script Beliefs in order to change them and gain self-mastery. This can empower us to respond to life events rather than react and regret it later.

Identifying the Beliefs in our Life Script can give us a way to understand why we behave the way we do. The job of updating our Life Script is where I and other therapists/coaches come in. It is just too hard to see ourselves from the outside when it comes to this very emotional, often heart-hurting, unconscious ‘stuff’.

Similarly, because the elements in our Life Script are not in our awareness, we need someone outside ourselves to help us identify them and ultimately help us change our Life Script for the better.

So how do we up-date our Life Scripts & rewire our patterns?

1. Through therapy, you can examine your Life Script, challenge and modify limiting Beliefs, and make conscious choices to create a more fulfilling life.  The goal is to move from unconscious, repetitive patterns to more conscious and intentional ways of living. 

“What we do not repair…we repeat”

This is true for us all (myself included). I love working with clients to help them become aware of their Life Script and empower them to change it and its influence on their lives to a powerful one which creates more ease. I see the benefits firsthand.

2. By using therapy that not only focuses on; our cognition and emotions but also on our body responses, especially our nervous system. A crucial element in changing our Life Scripts is learning better ways to regulate our emotions and our nervous system to embed lasting change.

Along with Emma Starling, from the Evolved Energetics Academy, I created a brand new hybrid Therapy called…

…The Rapid Imprint Resolution Method TM

In this method, we combine Psychotherapy (Transactional Analysis) and EFT (Tapping) tools to work with both the mind and the body with laser focus. By directly communicating with the brain and nervous system, we can change Life Script Beliefs by building and strengthening new neural pathways, allowing the previous ones to diminish.

Change happens by:

• Exploring and understanding your Life Script: Gaining insight, challenging unhelpful beliefs, and making conscious choices to change your life patterns.
• Decommissioning old Life Script Beliefs: Replacing them with new, accurate, and supportive ones that you will ‘wire’ in.
• Using the Polyvagal ladder: Retraining your nervous system out of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn modes while working directly on the brain’s neural pathways.
• Understanding your own story: Empowering you to offer yourself compassion alongside your desire for change.

All in all, this allows us to renew ourselves, overcome trauma, regenerate our personal and professional lives, and heal. Ultimately, it enables us to become the people we were always intended to be.

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Main – Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash