I watched my mum fight, defend and put herself last throughout my childhood.
That’s why women’s freedom is so important to me.
Watching my mum night after night fight for what she believed was freedom terrified me. I desperately wanted to help her, but I just couldn’t find my voice (the good girl always rushing to the fore).
So, I learned to freeze and hope it would pass, which then also made me feel guilty and incredibly angry for not being able to do anything. That anger has burned inside me for a very long time and will always be there, but it’s about making sure that how I look after myself fits every aspect of my skin, not just the layer that covers my body. When I’m not looking after myself or ignoring my emotions is when my health isn’t healthy.
To support a woman in feeling comfortable in her body, her emotions, and her communication is what makes my heart soar. When I see a woman suffering without even realising it, I’m taken back to my childhood and watching my mum believe she had to be everything for everyone, always putting herself last.
But you, me, we have so much more power than what we’ve been allowed to believe, and THAT is what I want you to really feel. When you trust yourself enough to know now is the time you need support, it will be the moment you shift perspective toward greater, long-term self-care.
What is your reason for not saying yes to support that could change your life? That will stop the suffering and the emotional backlashes. From my own personal experiences, money and time were just my excuses to not have to take responsibility. That drama filled the gap (because worrying about money and time takes a lot of time and energy) until I forgot about what I needed. But communication always comes back stronger and with more conviction the next time around (and even more so around perimenopause when resilience begins to dwindle).
At the age of 41, my mum and I have the best relationship, and I’m so grateful for everything she’s done and continues to do for me. But I won’t be fighting life anymore; I just want to enjoy it.
If any of the above resonates with you and you’d like to discuss your female health please contact me on abi@abiadams.co.uk.
Big love
Abi x
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
