5 Top Tips for successful relationships when you have ADHD and your partner does not

Storm Copestake
Written by Storm Copestake

Navigating relationships can be a fulfilling and rewarding experience, but it can also present its own set of challenges. When one partner has ADHD while the other does not, it can introduce unique dynamics into the relationship. However, with understanding, patience, and effective communication, successful relationships are possible. In this article, we will explore five top tips for fostering a healthy and thriving relationship when one partner has ADHD and the other does not.

1. Education and Understanding

The first step towards building a successful relationship is education and understanding. Both partners should take the time to learn about ADHD and its symptoms, and in particular the executive function challenges the partner with ADHD experiences. An understanding of ADHD can lead to increased empathy and a better grasp of the challenges faced by the partner with the condition. By understanding ADHD as a neurological difference rather than a personal failing, the non-ADHD partner can develop a more supportive and compassionate approach.

2. Open and Honest Communication

Communication lies at the heart of any successful relationship, and this is particularly true when one partner has ADHD. It is essential to establish open and honest communication channels that foster understanding and empathy. Both partners should express their needs, concerns, and feelings without judgment. Clear and direct communication can help minimise misunderstandings and frustrations. The non-ADHD partner should be patient and practice active listening, allowing their partner to express themselves fully and without interruption.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

3. Establish Routines and Structures

ADHD often manifests in challenges with organisation, time management, and maintaining focus, among other executive function challenges. Establishing routines and structures can greatly assist both partners in managing this. Creating a consistent daily schedule and sticking to it can provide a sense of stability and predictability for the partner with ADHD. Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps can also make them more achievable. The non-ADHD partner can offer support and gentle reminders to help their partner stay on track without being overly critical or controlling.

4. Support and Seek Professional Help

Managing ADHD within a relationship can be complex and seeking professional help can be beneficial. Coaching can often provide a safe and supportive environment to explore the challenges specific to the relationship. A skilled ADHD coach can help someone with ADHD to understand themselves, how their brains works and what their needs are. They can also help put in place great communication techniques, problem-solving strategies, and coping mechanisms, as well as help them develop skills to manage their symptoms effectively.

5. Practice Self-Care

Both partners must prioritise self-care to maintain a healthy relationship. Living with ADHD can be demanding, and it is important for the individual with the condition to practice self-care regularly. Engaging in activities that reduce stress, such as exercise, mindfulness, and hobbies, can help manage symptoms and improve overall well-being. The non-ADHD partner should also make time for self-care to prevent burnout and maintain a healthy balance in the relationship. By prioritising self-care, both partners can bring their best selves into the relationship and support each other effectively.

Photo by Stanley Dai on Unsplash

Building a successful relationship

Building a successful relationship when one partner has ADHD and the other does not requires understanding, empathy, and effective communication. By educating oneself about ADHD, establishing open and honest communication channels, creating routines and structures, seeking professional help when needed, and practicing self-care, couples can navigate the unique dynamics that arise from this situation. With patience, support, and a willingness to grow together, couples can cultivate a loving and fulfilling relationship that thrives despite the challenges posed by ADHD.


Main photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash