How do I know if I have authentic confidence? This was a question asked of me not so long ago and it’s an interesting one. Authentic confidence is a journey rather than a destination, it’s about continuous growth rather than a check list to say, “I’ve made it, I’ve arrived.” We are always changing and developing and learning, so our knowledge, understanding, and reflections on ourselves must do the same. That being said, there are some things you can look out for.
Below is a list of six markers to help you to determine whether you are on the journey of growing authentic confidence:
1. You can say ‘no’ to things that don’t align to your values.
Our core values shape the way we look at and interact with the world. They guide key decisions that we make about our lives and living out of alignment with them can cause us difficulties. Being able to say no is a tough one but will ultimately help you grow in authentic confidence.
2. You can say ‘yes’ to the right opportunities even when you’re afraid.
A key component of authentic confidence is courage and the willingness to try. It is often said that we only regret the things we didn’t do so dig deep into your resilience and take the next step. Even if it doesn’t turn out they way you expected or hoped, just the act of being courageous will help you to grow your authentic confidence and believe in yourself.
3. You can say ‘enough’ to things from your past that are holding you back.
There’s a real power in being able to draw a line under certain situations, experiences, and people in your life. Finding closure isn’t always possible, sometimes you have to come up with your own way of taking the lessons and deciding to move forward. This was a key one for me personally and I can’t tell you how confident it made me feel.
4. You can ask questions of yourself to reflect, learn, and grow.
What can I learn from this? What am I proud of? How do I feel? What do I need? The ability to reflect builds our resilience because it allows us to take lessons from our experiences and use them for the future. This in turn builds authentic confidence because it helps us understand that we can overcome difficulties and have the tools to be able to do it again.
5. You can ask for help from the right people when you need it.
If my three years in business has taught me anything, it’s that there is someone out there who can help you no matter what you are struggling with, even if it seems like you’re the only one struggling with a particular problem. Being able to reach out to the right people is important for authentic confidence because it ensures we recognise the value of support.
6. You can ask for feedback from others to help you to improve.
This can be a scary one either because we’re afraid of being wrong and having people point out our flaws, or because we need that feedback to feel validated because we can’t do that for ourselves. But with authentic confidence you will be able to identify your own strengths and weaknesses and use feedback to further develop and progress.
If you’d like help to develop authentic confidence, self-belief, personal identity, and a sense of pride in who you are, please get in touch with me on gemma@iamconnected.co.uk
Main photo by Andre Furtado
