…Your Superpower
“It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” – David Steindl-Rast
Think of a time when someone thanked you with sincere appreciation for something you had done for them?
Do you remember how it felt?
Now think of a time when you thanked someone with all your heart for something they did for you?
Do you remember how that made you feel?
Receiving & giving gratitude both are a source of immense joy.
Overcoming the Negative Bias
Gratitude is the simple practice of being thankful and showing appreciation. To practice gratitude is to consciously bring our attention to the positive aspects in our life and be thankful for them.
Sounds simple enough right, yet this is not our natural tendency!
We tend to focus on the negatives, often termed as Negative Bias. Our survival instincts, vulnerability, social conditioning, insecurities, biological and neurological make up all contribute to this bias.
However, when we consciously practice gratitude daily, with repetition we can make this our natural tendency. Research shows that consistent intentional gratitude practice helps the brain adapt by integrating new neural pathways, that over a period become unconscious default responses. Simply put, we can reach a state where we will see the positives around us more than the negatives, but this takes discipline and practice.
Try this: assess how you are feeling this very moment (0 being not good at all and 10 being top of the world). Now list down 5 things that you are truly grateful for and why they make you happy. (I am grateful for… because…)
Focus on the feelings that come up when bringing your awareness to these 5 things.
Now, assess how you are feeling again from 0-10. Do you see a shift? Even if it is only a small shift, can you imagine, what it can do if you practice this every day.
The Light of Gratitude
In moments of joy, the feeling of gratitude surface easily. But as much as joy brings forth gratitude – in reality, gratitude is the source of joy. Expressing gratitude daily shifts our mindset from lack to abundance and increases positive thoughts.
No matter our state of mind, if we start focusing on things that we are grateful for, it is difficult to feel downright sad, gloomy or upset.
It is like a beautiful lamp that lights up everything.
Having said that, it is possible to be sad yet grateful at the same time. Even in that sadness, gratitude works like a healer. In challenging times, especially when we face loss of loved ones, gratitude for the things we still have or the time we had with them, helps to change our perspective and shift towards emotional balance. We might still feel sadness, but the impact reduces with this shift.
A Practice for Manifestation
Gratitude is a powerful practice for manifestation. When we express gratitude not only for what we already have but also for what we desire in our life as though it already exists in our life, we attract the desired outcome even more into our life – the Law of Attraction. The belief in the fulfilment of the desire is endorsed by our expression of gratitude. The feeling of abundance will attract more abundance. The feeling of gratitude for things that make you feel abundant, will attract more things that make you feel grateful.
Try this: Write a goal you want to achieve. Find a quiet space and take a few deep breaths till you feel calm. Now write down 5 things you are grateful for. Then visualise your desired goal as if it has already been achieved and the feeling of fulfilment and happiness it brings to you. Take three deep breaths. Now, express your gratitude in the present tense, for example ‘I am so grateful for this feeling of fulfilment that this new job brings everyday’. Repeat this gratitude affirmation as many times as you like. Finish with three deep breaths. Repeat this exercise daily and see things unfold.
My Gratitude Journey
Few years back, I was struggling to find peace and joy in my being. I had lots of things to be happy about, but something felt amiss always. Like every year, I went to a New Years Day Buddhist meeting, and we were all encouraged to write something that we wanted to achieve that year. I wrote on a piece of paper ‘I want to feel gratitude for everything in my life – good or bad, I want to have gratitude for all there is.’ And I started chanting (praying) to have gratitude in my life.
When you are feeling low, it is difficult to direct your focus on appreciation. However, as you consciously try each day to look for things that you can appreciate, you start automatically noticing more things to appreciate.
Moreover, you start noticing the little things that you perhaps have been taking for granted. Your partner making you a cup of coffee, your child giving you a hug out of nowhere, your parents cooking meals for you, a friend calling to check on you, the sun shining the day you plan a picnic, the train arriving as soon as you reach the platform, finding no queue at the café when you arrive super hungry, flowers blooming in your garden, I can go on and on.
That is what happened to me. And over time, I have seen a shift in my mindset. I have more appreciation for things around me and now feel gratitude for a lot that I took for granted then.
Today, when things are good, I chant with gratitude and when things are bad, I chant with gratitude. Yes, you read that right, when things are bad, I still chant with gratitude. It is surely not easy and is counterintuitive and you may be thinking ‘But what about the Law of Attraction – am I not attracting more bad things?’ Well, I am not grateful for the bad thing per say, but the lesson they bring. Of course, when things go wrong, I feel anger, frustration, sadness and all those negative emotions which are a natural reaction. But over the years, as I have worked on myself, I have realised that all things in our life have a meaning.
Every challenge comes with an opportunity to learn from & become a stronger, better human being.
So now, after the initial reaction, the Buddhist & coach in me tells me to calm down, to see the bigger picture and understand what I need to learn from the situation. Even in situations where I have felt my world was crumbling, I have chanted through tears to have gratitude for what the situation is trying to teach me even if I could not understand it in the moment. And as I have focused on this, I have felt a shift in me from being a victim of the situation to taking responsibility and then rising from the situation after learning the lesson. The gratitude is for the lesson. So yes, I have learnt to have gratitude for my challenges too.
Gratitude is a Superpower
This is what gratitude does for us:
Starting a Gratitude journal is a gift to your own being that opens up the feeling of abundance to flow.
Most superheroes have supernatural powers (stop you Batman fans, I said most) that makes them super strong and invincible. Here is the game changer –
Gratitude is your Superpower to make you super strong & invincible!
Photo by Courtney Hedger on Unsplash
