An honest holiday review and tools to help bring back the magic.
Let’s be honest, what is depicted as a warm, cosy, festive season, full of smiles, enjoyable family gatherings and too much food, to some of us this may feel like one big game of pretence. Not always, but there are moments.
The holiday season is supposed to be fun and festive, yet why do many of us struggle to feel that way?
Looking at the statistics of this magical time of the year, I found the following:
Some Christmas Statistics:
- In the US, a 2015 survey conducted by Healthline reported that 62% of respondents stated that their stress levels this time of the year were very to somewhat elevated. Only 10% said they did not feel any stress during this period.1
- In a UK survey led by the Mental Health Foundation, 38% of respondents experiencing increased stress during the holiday season and 49% reported experiencing family tension according to a study by YouGov.2
- A 2018 research by Statista, with over 2000 respondents in the UK, shows 17% of people feel more lonely during Christmas, and 8% says they have no one to spend it with. Yet, the same research indicates 76% enjoyed the time spent with friends and family.3
- Or how about this visual from a 2022 research by Statista, comparing UK, US and Germany with regards to Christmas stress4:
Regarding the ‘less festive side’ of the holidays, there seem to be 3 major themes: stress, family disputes, and loneliness. For those already dealing with chronic symptoms during the ‘regular months’, it’s like adding gasoline to the fire.
In this article I will unpack each one of these themes, while looking at MindBody tools, and even some gift ideas, to navigate this season more smoothly, help you manage flare-ups and bring back some peace of mind. The aim is to leave you with a more hopeful and empowered feeling going into the holidays this year.
So, where do we start?
Decreasing Stress during the Holidays
Stress is the overarching demon. The factors could be financial, family dynamics, unrealistic expectations, time constraints, travel, and the added pressure to end the year in line with the impossible goal you set yourself at the start of the year… Am I getting this right? Do any of these feel familiar? And if so, did you observe the mental and physical impact of this stress?
There are so many factors here it is hard to say which ones are the main pressure points, and it is often the combination that makes it stressful. While the reasons may differ, the tools to deal with them are the same. They lean on your ability to let go of control. Sounds scary, I know! Here is a 6-step plan to simplify this:
- Step 1 is always awareness: notice when stress comes up. Familiarise yourself with the bodily sensations so you can recognise it and work with it. Then reason with yourself for a second and ask the following question:
- Step 2 Distinguish: What in this situation is within my control? What is not? “If it is out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too” is an old saying I try to live by. I say TRY because it needs repeating, even after years of practice. And you know what, that’s ok! Because worrying about something you cannot control will do absolutely nothing to better the situation, no matter how hard you worry, it will change nothing. Well, apart from your mood and stress levels.
- Step 3 Breathe: before you can start making any decisions you need to calm down the nervous system because we cannot reason in fight or flight mode. Conscious breathing is the quickest and most effective way to do this. Try this: breathe in, and then out twice as long, and do that 2, or 3 times. Another technique is the physiological sigh which Andrew Huberman shares a lot of research on 5. This is a double inhale followed by a sigh.
- Step 4 Prioritise: from the things that are within your control, prioritise what requires immediate actions, what is crucial and what is not. If it affects your physical and mental health, it needs to go down the list! Because guess what, there is nothing more important than your HEALTH. If you need permission to prioritise in this way, I hereby grant you the permission to put your health first.
- Step 5 Ask for help: we often think that we are struggling alone, yet there is this list of “most common” stress factors, because everybody deals with them. We often don’t reach out because we don’t want to complain, or burden someone else, but sometimes it is as simple as doing tasks together. Sharing tasks, where you help each other, the mere fact of doing it together removes a lot of pressure because the psychological weight decreases.
