Understanding The Root Of Adult Struggles
What if I told you that most of what you believe about yourself and the world isn’t truly yours?
More and more therapists are coming to the conclusion that 50% of our core beliefs are shaped before birth and the remaining 50% before the age of seven. This means that by the time we reach childhood, we are already carrying patterns and conditioning that will shape the rest of our lives—until we embark on a self-development journey to question and reshape them.
This concept may seem surprising, even unsettling. But as a therapist working with hypnosis, I’ve witnessed firsthand how many of my clients, when accessing deep subconscious memories, go back to experiences from the womb, their birth experience and early childhood. They recall not only their own sensations but also their mother’s emotions, the words spoken by their father and the conditions of their home environment before they were even born. These early impressions, absorbed before conscious thought develops, can create deeply rooted beliefs that shape our adult life challenges.
1. The Prenatal Experience—We Are One with Our Mother
a. The Impact of Early Sensory Experiences
From the moment we are conceived, our environment shapes us. Babies begin to sense their surroundings long before they can hear words. They absorb their mother’s emotions, physical state and even the energy from those around her, including the father and any other family members. Babies can also sense if they have siblings and may pick up on the dynamics between parents or the family environment. These prenatal experiences lay the foundation for how we later perceive and respond to the world. Babies feel the emotional atmosphere, whether it’s one of stress or security and this early programming influences their emotional development. It’s as if we are already preparing ourselves for the reality that awaits us once we’re born.
b. Emotional Imprints from the Womb
In my hypnosis sessions, it’s fascinating to see how many clients can recall not only their own feelings but also their mother’s emotional state or the tensions between parents during pregnancy. They relive sensations of anxiety, joy or fear, which are deeply absorbed into their subconscious mind. These emotional imprints can significantly influence their perception of relationships, stress and even their identity. For instance, a baby who senses their mother’s anxiety may later struggle with insecurity or anxiety in adulthood. Through these experiences, the baby internalises a sense of safety or danger, often without realising the source. These imprints form the foundation for how individuals engage with the world as adults, affecting their emotional responses to stress and interpersonal connections.
c. Exploring the Freni Method: Unveiling the Impact of Intrauterine Experiences on Life Patterns
Some therapists, like Dr. Graziella Concetta Freni, have advanced the study of prenatal experiences. Her research shows how deeply the intrauterine environment shapes a person’s behaviour and life patterns. Recently, I participated in a workshop that gave me a first-hand look at the profound impact of her work on understanding human development.
Dr. Freni’s research reveals that experiences in the womb—whether positive or negative—are stored in the body’s cellular memory and impact individuals throughout their lives, shaping emotional responses, self-worth and behaviours in adulthood. Experiences like loss or stressful family dynamics can create unconscious patterns that often remain unnoticed until their origins are uncovered. Another key focus of her work is brain development, particularly during the first 41 days of gestation, when the core area of the brain responsible for essential life functions forms. This period lays the foundation for a sense of belonging and our place in the world, influencing behaviours and emotional responses throughout life. Her research shows how these prenatal imprints create an emotional blueprint that continues to shape us into adulthood.
She explains how understanding these early experiences can promote greater self-awareness and lead to a more fulfilling life, helping us reconnect with the joy that has always been within us. By shifting from reaction to action and uncovering the root cause of these struggles, individuals can redirect their energy to break free from unconscious patterns and heal deep-seated issues that originated even before birth.
2. Early Childhood—Absorbing Beliefs and Patterns
a. The Sponge-Like State of Early Childhood
Between birth and age seven, children absorb everything from their environment—parents’ emotions, actions, beliefs and even broader societal messages—without the ability to filter or critically assess them. This period is crucial because by age seven, many behavioural patterns, beliefs and emotional responses are already established, forming the foundation for how we navigate life. These early influences create a mental and emotional blueprint that shapes how we respond to challenges, relationships and our sense of self. It’s not just parents who play a role; other key figures, such as grandparents, teachers or anyone else involved in a child’s upbringing, also have a profound impact. Even when parents are absent, caregivers are the ones who leave a lasting impression. During these years, children are in an alpha brainwave state—similar to the state we access during hypnosis—making it easier to access memories from this period later in life. This is one reason why hypnosis is such an effective tool for unlocking early childhood memories.
b. The Lasting Impact of Early Conditioning
The patterns children absorb during these formative years often continue to influence them into adulthood, sometimes unconsciously. We may struggle with certain challenges, react in ways we don’t fully understand or face recurring issues in relationships or self-worth because, despite being in an adult body, our minds may still react as if we were a child facing the same situation. Many of the limiting beliefs we struggle with as adults were not consciously formed by us; they were absorbed from our early environment. For example, hearing “You are fragile” during childhood can lead to chronic health anxiety, a heightened sense of vulnerability or a reluctance to take on new challenges, which may diminish a person’s vitality and overall wellbeing. Similarly, hearing “Life is a struggle” can instill a mindset focused on hardship, leading to constant stress and an inability to approach challenges with resilience and optimism, ultimately affecting one’s emotional and physical wellbeing. Lastly, the belief that “Older women shouldn’t have kids” can cause internal conflict and self-doubt for those considering pregnancy later in life, potentially leading to feelings of inadequacy or fear surrounding fertility and the risks of motherhood. It’s important to remember that it’s never about the sentence we’ve heard or the experience we’ve lived but rather the meaning we created from it. Each of us is unique, and we interpret these experiences differently.
c. Rewriting Subconscious Narratives
These deeply ingrained patterns, though often unconscious, can be changed once we become aware of them. Many people go through life running on subconscious programs from childhood, often without realising it. We all know someone who says: “I’m like this”, “This always happens to me” or “This isn’t for me”. Through self-observation, paying attention to how we speak to others and ourselves—when no one’s watching—and using therapeutic approaches like hypnosis, we can begin to understand and challenge these beliefs…….
By recognising and understanding these limiting beliefs, we can start reframing them, changing the patterns that have been imprinted in our minds and bodies for years. This allows us to heal the wounds they cause, rewrite our personal narratives and live more freely, consciously letting go of what no longer serves us while creating a life that aligns with who we truly are.
3. Conception and Birth—The Story of ‘Being Wanted’
a. The Moment of Conception
Some clients, under hypnosis, recall the moment of their conception—not as a physical event but as an energetic experience. They sense whether they were conceived in love, fear, uncertainty or even rejection. Imagine understanding at conception that you were a surprise—arriving at a time when your parents were unprepared or too young, unsure of how to welcome you into their lives. These subconscious impressions, whether from a mother’s silent fears or a father’s unspoken expectations, can shape a person’s deep-seated beliefs about their worthiness and belonging.
For those conceived unexpectedly or in difficult circumstances, there may be an underlying belief that they “weren’t supposed to be here”, which can manifest as a lifelong sense of not belonging, constantly seeking external validation or even facing fertility challenges when trying to conceive their own baby. By revisiting these origins, individuals can recognise that these beliefs were absorbed not inherent. This awareness offers the opportunity to separate from inherited emotions, redefine self-worth and reclaim the right to fully exist and thrive.
b. The Moment of Birth
In my practice, some clients recall vivid details of their birth—the struggle, the environment, the emotions of their parents and even the energy in the room. They sense whether their arrival was met with joy, relief or even disappointment. Imagine being born into a space where your parents had been hoping for a boy, yet you arrived as a girl. Or sensing the exhaustion and emotional turmoil of a mother who had just endured a difficult labour—perhaps even a life-threatening event for her or the baby. In many cases I’ve seen in my practice, individuals recall moments where their survival or their mother’s, was uncertain. These experiences can leave deep emotional imprints, later manifesting as feelings of anxiety, hypervigilance or a deep-seated fear of fully embracing life.
These early experiences are imprinted deeply within us. A stressful or traumatic birth can translate into subconscious fears of life being a struggle, while an unwelcoming reception can fuel feelings of rejection or unworthiness. Understanding and integrating these birth memories allows individuals to release the inherited emotions that shaped their early perceptions of the world, paving the way for deeper healing and self-acceptance.
c. Reclaiming Our Purpose
Whatever we may have been through, we must remember: we come through our parents, but we do not come from them. Likewise, as parents, we have to understand that our children come through us. Beyond the circumstances of our conception and birth, there is something greater that wanted us here—something that has a unique purpose for us to fulfill, one that only we can carry out. When we free ourselves from the subconscious stories we inherited, we reconnect with the deeper truth that our existence is meaningful, that we are meant to be here, right now. Healing these early imprints allows us to step into life with a renewed sense of belonging, clarity and purpose.
Conclusion: Rewriting Our Story
It’s surprising to realise just how much our early experiences shape who we are. But once we understand this, we can start to identify and let go of the beliefs and patterns that no longer serve us. By recognising how prenatal and early childhood experiences influence us, we take the first step toward healing and creating a life that’s more true to who we really are.
The past may have shaped us but it doesn’t have to define us. Many of the challenges we face—repeating patterns, struggles or even the types of people we attract—come from subconscious beliefs we absorbed long before we could even think for ourselves. Real freedom begins with questioning these beliefs. We’re not stuck in our childhood experiences, our parents’ fears or the conditioning we received before birth. We can change and it starts with becoming aware of the patterns we’ve been repeating without even realising it.
Healing isn’t about getting rid of the past; it’s about changing how we relate to it. It’s about being able to look at it without letting it hurt or impact our lives as adults. When we understand where and when our struggles truly began, we can create space for understanding, acceptance and clarity to move forward.
If this resonates with you, let’s have a conversation and focus on your unique story. We’ll explore the patterns you’re noticing in your adult life. Until then, feel free to check out my free wellbeing course here.
Recognising what’s holding us back is the first step…
…let’s take it together.
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Image by Marcus Rocha from Pixabay
