Who Am I?
It’s one of the most fundamental human questions we ask, as we don the appropriate identity or mask to suit the moment. Executive, colleague, peer, friend…lost sheep…
And in our quietest moments, in touch with otherness, grace or the divine, we are most in touch with ourselves. We have an inkling of who we might be. These glimpses into our inner potential propel us to explore the outer world, in search of that which mirrors our inner reality.
Too philosophical? Too abstract?
What if the question was just: are you happy and fulfilled in your life?
If the answer is perhaps, maybe…anything other than a vibrant yes, then there might be something to explore.
The yogic sages taught that the purpose of practice is fulfilment and freedom, bhoga and apavarga. Our goal is to find freedom through experience in the world, rather than freedom through escape or avoidance on a remote mountain top. As our practice becomes more refined, our experience of our inner self expands and becomes more subtle. This subtle capacity for more refined experience guides us towards freedom. We become free by joyfully and fully experiencing ourselves in this world.
Simply put, what lights us up inside is a glimpse of our purpose in life. For years, I found joy in managing the art of the impossible running large, complex global programmes…until I didn’t.
I hit burn out.
I no longer loved what I did.
I had to start from rock bottom.
I had to rediscover what brought me joy.
I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t the “sensible” path.
I find joy in moments of deep connection, communion and feeling with the person beside me.
What about you?
1. The big question
What do you do that brings you joy?
I remember being asked this once by a very wise woman and being completely stumped.
I had no answer.
That emptiness was the source of my burnout. Recovery required me to rediscover joy.
Be patient. Find the edge of your comfort zone. Allow yourself to experience the world a little differently. Go do that thing you’ve been meaning to do. Be curious. Allow yourself to rediscover the joy within, as you experience being joyful.
2. Find your people
Come up with a list of 3 groups of people (ideally 3 in each group):
- Peers who have worked closely with you
- People who have reported into you, whether directly or indirectly
- Friends (not close friends and family) who know you well
Find a way to naturally approach them with your dilemma. I often find my ceiling to be my first audience!
3. Ask for empathy & truth
Enlist them on your journey of self-discovery and ask for honesty and compassion from your people. Trust is the first step.
4. Ask your questions & assess
Ask them one simple question…
What is my secret superpower?
And follow up with:
Can you recall a time that you saw this in action to help me understand how you see that secret superpower unfolding?
Correlate the answers and seek the common thread(s). There will be at least one!
5. Radical honesty…finding joy
Ask yourself if the moments shared with you are also moments where you felt joy.
If you feel a glimpse, then allow yourself to smile – you’re on the right track. If not, share your feedback with a trusted mentor who can help you interpret.
This process works. It might not give you easy answers that offer you financial security, job security, or a traditional career path, and it just might make you happier! And therein lies the challenge. Navigating your way through what is needed to survive, and what is needed to bring you joy requires creative and elegant solutions, and your answers may take time.
For me, the answer I received was that I truly see people and have helped them work through the painful, difficult, and heart-breaking moments.
With trial and error, I found that integrated transpersonal psychotherapy had been waiting for me all along…healing through working with the body, heart, mind and soul was the calling and purpose I had been seeking. And there is joy in it for me.
I wish you happiness, compassion, and that you find your path to fulfilment and freedom – with joy!
Main – Photo by Levi Guzman on Unsplash
