Normal but not working normal

Dealing with others

One of the things, even if we’re in management, that we cannot do is to predict or control the behaviour of others. However, this should not change the way that we resolve disputes or concerns. The keys are to:

• Be clear. Don’t be afraid to say what you think but be clear about it. Disputes often arise when people misunderstand what we mean. If you’re able to say what you mean and mean what you say, people will know who you are and what you stand for. It’s also very refreshing to get this point of view.

• Talk it through. If you’re concerned about someone else’s behaviour and how they may receive something that you want to say, as long as you’re not gossiping, there’s no reason not to talk it through with someone who you trust. That confidante may also be able to assess whether they think that you’re being reasonable or not.

• Go direct to the source. Although it’s good to talk things through with someone else. If possible, speak directly to the person concerned in a kind and level way. Others will have differing opinions to you, but you also have a right to your viewpoint. You may even find that although others aren’t sharing their troubles, underneath it all they actually have fears similar to yours.

Manage yourself well

If you can control and adapt your own behaviour you can feel so much better.

• Evoke the NO. Saying no to things that are above and beyond what you can comfortably cope with is not rude or weak. It’s part of self-care and preventing stress, anxiety and burnout. Saying no actually strengthens your resilience and gives you a greater sense of control.

• Assess the actual risk. Try not to catastrophise,over-generalise orassume. These heightened emotions perpetuate the stress response. Although it’s tough, try to approach situations with a level head and really consider the lens that you’re looking through.

• Drop the comparison. It may feel as if everyone around you is coping. Some may be but remember the stats (of 44%) not everyone is. Give yourself a break and you’ll probably start attracting people who feel the same and notice that there’s something different about you. Your honesty and vulnerability.

• Incorporate relaxation. Getting off your devices and going for a walk at lunchtime, listening to music or having 10 minutes of meditation can help you to re-align. Also try visualising your environment as being positive and as you would like it to be.