Let’s talk about SEX
Love at first sight? Physically attractive? Why? Could it be that through evolution our ancestors have evolved such that our brains and neural adaptations now see physical attractiveness based on their ability to offer better genetic qualities for our offspring?
Why do women play hard to get? Is it because they know that if a man ‘fights’ for her they can protect them because they are determined and strong? Why do we find men with muscles so attractive? Men who generally have masculine features e.g. prominent cheekbones, large muscles, large jawline etc generally have a higher level of testosterone, which is a hormone that helps with strength and protection. Why are men attracted to large eyes and breasts, generally these show the youthfulness and fertility of a female. Is it love at first sight or just our evolutionary programming to choose someone who will offer us the best chance of producing offspring and their ultimate survival?
Along the same lines, this could explain why men are also more promiscuous. The more females they impregnate the more chance of having a high reproductive success rate.
A lot of these theories are ‘head’ theories. They are great to think about because remember we are still human. We need to feel that we understand ourselves and there are reasons for why we act the way that we do. My encouragement to you today though is to start identifying when you are relating to those around you from your head (chaos, uncertainty) or your heart. Divine guidance is always peaceful, still, repetitive and to the point. Be gentle with your human side. You are doing the best that you can with what you have been given. Listening to the heart takes time and patience. You are perfect, whole and complete just the way you are… and so is your partner.
References
Byrne, D. and Clore, G. L. (1970) A reinforcement model of evaluative processes, Personality: An International Journal 1, 103-28.
Walster, E., Aronson, V., Abrahams, D and Rottmann, L. (1966) Importance of physical attractiveness in dating behavior, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 4, 508-16.
Shaver, P. R., Hazan, C., & Bradshaw, D. (1988). Love as attachment: The integration of three behavioral systems. In R. J. Steinberg & M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love (pp. 68-99). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press
Rusbult, C. (1983). A longitudinal test of the investment model: The development (and deterioration) of satisfaction and commitment in heterosexual involvements. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45, 172-186.
Rollie and Duck’s Model of breakdown (1999)
Centeredness Model (Bennett 2014)
