Starting with the Breath
And as I didn’t have the energy to start punching people, I began by inhaling through my nose and out of my mouth very slowly, counting the beats of my heart every time I felt overwhelmed.
That was it. A deep cleansing breath, releasing and detoxing on the exhale. Imagining all the pain flowing out and away. Unbelievably, it helped. My body started to sense that after years of ignoring it, I was back, on its side.
I progressed to trying to sit up for a few moments at a time, lengthening my spine, lowering my shoulders and breathing deeply into my belly. I felt less sick, less trapped, less like screaming.
I’d like to share some videos with you:
I then tried alternate nostril breathing “Nadhi Shodhana”. Here is my Alternate Nostril Breathing video
Here’s a little intro to balancing with breath. Which really began to calm my mind, and drop me into a parasympathetic state (I didn’t know that then) where I could actually stop shaking for a few seconds at a time.
And so it went on, the Humming Bee Breath (Bhramari), which convinced my family I’d lost the plot.
The Ujjayi Breath (Darth Vader), which also convinced my family I’d lost the plot.
And the Lions Breath (Simhasana), which I used every time my family told me I’d lost the plot (I added in pretending to bite them at the end of each of those breaths, which I’m fairly sure isn’t included in yogic text). Anything that was calming and soothing and I was all over it.
Pranayama, it turns out, really is the control of life force. It’s the application of breathing practices to heal, to open, to bring life back to the body and mind, uniting them. And, it’s the place where I began to take my power back.
