As I’ve started to work with ladies, especially with female entrepreneurs, there is a phrase I keep hearing over and over again. Many of them state as a fact, that they are not confident in themselves, and only their friends and families’ support made them start their businesses. I’m sorry to say it but this is incorrect.
Many of my clients keep bringing this up stating that if it had been completely down to her, she would never have left her 9-5 job to start her own business, but her environment was really supporting her, and that support made her quit her job and start over. Don’t get me wrong, having such support is a massive help when it comes to decision making, and many of us only wish we had such a level of support. But here’s something to consider: even if she has this supportive environment around her, who went into her workplace and quit? Who was the one who enrolled on the courses to create a base for her new business? Who was the one who researched the legal requirements and filled out all the paperwork to make everything legit and official? Who engaged her first customer/client? Obviously, people might have helped during this process, but at the end of the day, she was responsible for all the successes and failures the business might bring. So, my question is this, who are the real heroes behind these success stories? It’s us ladies.
I know how it feels disbelieving that your successes are your own. In the past I’ve said it many times that I only have a degree because my husband pulled me ‘by my hair’ all the way to the finish line. And in some way that might be right; he motivated me in so many ways and supported me with such energy that I’ll always be thankful for him. But I’ve realised that it took a lot of effort from me as well, to complete all the exams, write the thesis, prepare for the presentations, etc. My husband could only help me with the mindset, but when it came to the actual ‘doing’, it was all me. I woke up at 3 am to study and I was the one up until 12am finishing the data analysis and everything else. So why am I giving my successes away to my husband? Or in the previous example, why are the ladies giving their successes away to their environment, instead of celebrating themselves for everything they’ve achieved, unapologetically?
It’s a social construct I believe. We are taught to be shy, modest, and ladylike. But hey, this is 2021, and it really is the time to start really celebrating women for their successes.
How to make this happen
- Do you have a friend who has achieved something she really wanted to? Celebrate her!
- Did she receive her degree that she was working super hard for? Celebrate her!
- Has your friend quit her job to start a business? Support and celebrate her!
But most importantly, always remind her, that her success is hers!
We are indeed taught to be modest – as if there is shame or big-headed-ness in saying “I did this, it was me – I did great” – the fear that is created around celebrating our own successes only adds to feelings of inferiority and low self esteem. Lets all celebrate our successes! here here!