Why Do I Only Coach Men? - Health & Wellbeing Magazine by Foyht

Firstly, my aim is not to speak on behalf of men. This post reflects my sincere opinion based on what I’ve observed, experienced, and felt in my interactions with men throughout most of my life.

I believe we live in a world where a man seeking help, sharing his fears and vulnerabilities, crying, or displaying sensitivity is often perceived as “weak” in the eyes of others.

Consider this: How many men have you witnessed or heard of in your workplace or personal environment being vulnerable, sharing a struggle, facing a personal crisis, or simply expressing their stress? How many stories have you heard where men tragically die by suicide, yet those closest to them were unaware of their struggles?

Most men refrain from seeking help or expressing their struggles because they often have not been provided with the space or tools to do so.

This has been evidenced by the high rates of suicide among men, particularly in Ireland and the UK. For instance, in 2021, suicide statistics in Ireland revealed that “449 people died by suicide – 359 males (80%) and 90 females (20%)”. The male suicide rate was 14.9 per 100,000*, compared to the female suicide rate of 3.6 per 100,000*.” “Deaths due to suicide by year of occurrence 2012 – 2020 was higher for males in every single year of this analysis”.

“In 2022, there were 5,642 suicides registered in England and Wales (10.7 deaths per 100,000 people); this is consistent with 2021 (5,583 deaths; 10.7 per 100,000). Around three-quarters of suicides registered in 2022 were males (4,179 deaths; 74.1%).”

Having completed different suicide awareness and intervention skills training, I would like to mention the amazing numerous free resources available at our disposal for people dealing with thoughts of suicide or those affected by suicide bereavement. Please find them at the end of this post.

I feel deeply connected to this issue because I’ve encountered similar struggles while growing up. I didn’t know how to share my challenges, mental health struggles, or even any signs of what we perceive as “weakness”.

We often try to be the strong, supportive, and happy ones, and although it is possible to achieve that type of life, it is unrealistic to maintain this facade every single day. The fear of emotional vulnerability is a common struggle for many, but we all have the power to change this through appropriate inner work and support from a professional.

The suppression and lack of expression of our emotions often lead to deeper issues, illnesses, and crises. Many times, people resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as various addictive substances and approaches to temporarily numb internal pain and find relief.

I don’t judge people who resort to these coping mechanisms as I believe we all try to deal with our pain and struggles the best we can. However, what we keep bottled up inside eventually surfaces, leading to significant crises in our lives or causing mental health struggles.

I want to initiate change by creating a service focused on helping men navigate these challenging situations they face. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and we are all constantly learning, but we also deserve to enjoy every aspect of our lives.

Holistic life coaching enables men to explore their vulnerabilities without judgment, cultivating a space to open up about their fears, challenges and aspirations, affecting all areas of their lives mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. By acknowledging and expressing these feelings, we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and cultivate more meaningful connections with others.

My coaching supports men in aligning their choices with their true values, desires, and passions. This process of self-discovery enables them to make decisions that resonate with their authentic selves, leading to a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction.

Now, not all men need guidance or support for major crises or deeper issues. My services can also support men in finding their purpose, changing careers, cultivating deeper connections, increasing motivation and confidence, achieving a goal, or even expanding and exploring their spiritual beliefs.

My mission is to make men feel respected, heard, and valued, and that we need them in our society. My goal is to support them in being themselves without the generational fear of hiding and pretending around others.

Happiness and balance in life come from within, not from others, material things, job titles or life statuses. You can be the richest, most successful man with the most amazing partner and family in the world and still feel empty and unhappy inside. Everything is within; as within is without, as below, so above.

Every word in this post is coming from my heart and soul to create the awareness and support I feel is needed. If I don’t market my services specifically for men, men won’t come to me.

Let’s create and support this sacred space for our fathers, brothers, friends, partners, colleagues, strangers, and all the men in our lives!

Some Helpful Links

Ireland and UK: Samaritans: “When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.”

Link: https://www.samaritans.org/?currency=EUR&nation=ireland

https://www.samaritans.org

Ireland: Pieta: “At Pieta, we provide a range of services nationally to people who are experiencing thoughts of suicide, those who engage in self-harm, and those bereaved by suicide. All of our services are provided free of charge, and no referral is needed.”

Link: https://www.pieta.ie/how-we-can-help/

Text Service: “Text HELLO to 50808 to start a conversation ‘Text About It’ by spunout is free, anonymous and here for you 24/7.”

Link: https://www.textaboutit.ie/